Mortuary (1982)
6/10
Definitely more pleasant than visiting an actual mortuary
12 August 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This largely unheralded artifact from the Golden Age of splatter is admittedly more enjoyable because of the aesthetic it shares with the classic films surrounding it than because of the movie itself. However, thanks to some nice atmospheric touches and a well-realized climax, Mortuary ends up being a safely above average offering well worth seeking out for '80s horror enthusiasts.

Granted, the story is a bit disjointed, and a sizable chunk of the film is spent following an ultimately insignificant subplot concerning the owner of the titular funeral home and the strange ritualistic séances he conducts in the basement. The real driving force of the tale is a college girl named Christie who is haunted by images of her father's murder, which she suspects may be tied in with a phantasmal killer who is stalking her (gee, you think?).

The homicidal specter in question is a dark-robed figure whose face is painted up like he's auditioning to be the bass player in a Scandinavian black metal band, and who has the seemingly supernatural ability to appear just about anywhere at will. Figuring out who the killer is isn't difficult, especially since we are treated to close-ups of his pasty visage less than halfway through the film. For some reason, Christie has a tougher time connecting the dots, and despite seeing him face to face and hearing him speak at length during one encounter, the best she can come up with is, "his eyes looked familiar".

It's probably inaccurate to call Mortuary a "slasher" film or a "splatter" movie, since it has a notably lean body count and only a few scenes of bloodletting. However, the sequences it does contain are well-orchestrated, and one in particular, in which the obviously aroused killer graphically stabs his victim dozens of times while shuddering with orgasmic glee, still packs a vicious punch even by today's standards.

The pace is definitely on the slow side, and things don't really get cooking until the third act, but the film maintains a steady level of suspense throughout while the mystery is being unraveled. The tension is augmented immeasurably by an excellent musical score, which is among the best you'll hear in the film cycle of the era.

The standard cast of unknowns is bolstered by the always welcome presences of Christopher and Lynda Day George, and a manic performance by a very young Bill Paxton lends the film additional curiosity value. Amongst the newbies, the acting is generally serviceable, although in one awkwardly performed scene depicting Christie's reaction to a flashback nightmare, Mary McDonough's facial expressions, writhing, and demeanor look less like disturbance and more like the throes of sexual ecstasy. It certainly doesn't help that she's moaning, "Daddy... daddy... daddy..." over and over again, either.

The horror elements are nicely balanced with a few nuggets of delightfully droll black humor, my favorite being a scene in which Christopher George is giving a sales pitch to an aged married couple shopping for funeral accessories. When George steps away, the couple has a moment to appraise the casket he's selected for them, during which the thoughtful wife expresses her reservations to her husband: "honey, I just don't think you'd be comfortable in this".

Of course, the film has its requisite share of unintentional silliness, and the melodramatic preening of the killer is guaranteed to make you snicker a time or two. Predictably, an extended scene inside a roller rink with its accompanying disco jam hasn't aged well, either. Oddly, this same disco derby scene includes three friends of our leading couple, who seem groomed to be perfect fuel for a larger body count, yet are so ultimately insignificant in the film that we're left wondering why they were introduced at all.

Though it's a pretty bumpy road getting there, the giddily ghoulish finale is worth the wait. You'll find similar twists in a few other outings of Mortuary's vintage, but the way it's handled here serves as a satisfying pay-off for the methodical set-up that precedes it.

Mortuary isn't mandatory viewing by any means, but the fantastic score, a likable hero and heroine, and a nifty final chapter combine to give the film enough positive attributes to warrant 85-minutes of your life. Those who treasure this period of horror's history aren't likely to regret taking a look.
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