5/10
Eisenberg's Star Nose Dives
16 August 2011
Rarely anymore do I find myself looking forward to a film's release with any real sincerity. 30 Minutes or Less was an exception and equally proved to be yet, another disappointment.

What happened, Jesse? I usually love your stuff. I've been a fan since Rodger Dodger. Your scene with Elizabeth Berkley and Jennifer Beals was one of THE most sexually and amazingly charged scenes I've seen on film to date. Usually you so adeptly merge your style and unique attributes with those of your characters. So many times, it has been solely you that has kept otherwise sinking ships adrift (i.e. Cursed, Adventureland). You won 2011 Best Actor hands-down, well deserved.

But man, I don't get it... This time, it was as if you had your mind on other things. Forgive me for saying so, but your performance reminded me of a preoccupied, constipated, Gary Oldman-style Dracula. Hey, just calling it like it is. Right out of the shoot I felt a wave of confusion when you attempted this tough-guy personae racing carelessly through the streets with this apathetic, f-you energy that was so-not your vibe. But it was when you went "live" that you transformed into this spineless jellyfish of a wet-your-panties, whiny, little b***h that was so nauseatingly unlikable I found myself keeping my fingers crossed that the film would take some unprecedented leap at originality and you would blow up in 30 Minutes or Less. Your acting in this, usually flawless, came across so canned and unrehearsed.

Now maybe, just maybe this was all intentional to take a back seat in effort to open the door wider for Aziz Ansari. If it was, then you're a genius, because you generously allowed him the show. This time, ironically, another actor saved an otherwise sinking ship.

Whatever happened, please don't let it happen again. We need your brilliance. There are too many Barbie and Ken dolls out there as your so-called peers. We need genuine actors and actresses breathing real life into their characters.

That's all I got.
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