Review of Apollo 18

Apollo 18 (2011)
3/10
Beware of moon rocks that go missing...you might be in the sequel!
2 September 2011
Warning: Spoilers
By now, I assume most people reading this are aware of the fact that this is a film that is apparently spliced together from footage taken by the crew of the ill fated "Apollo 18" mission to Mars.

Of course it's a faux documentary, but I suspect if you can suspend your disbelief until after you see the film, it may make the experience if not more enjoyable, at least less boring!

Three astronauts take off for the moon; two of them are to collect rock samples from the moon's surface, while the third is in orbit above the moon. No one seems to question the need for scores of cameras...but needless to say, cameras are set up all over the place, and the two astronauts on the planet have a camera fastened to their space suit!

On day 1 of their two day mission they encounter strange rocks that feel different...but they still bag them and tag them and take them back to their "lunar pad" if you will. That night they hear strange sounds around them...but they don't draw any conclusions about them.

The following morning, they discover one of the rocks is no longer contained, but is sitting on the floor of the quarters. Thinking nothing much of it, they set out on the second day, discovering a Soviet lunar ship that has landed, and the inside is stained with blood.

Searching a dark crater, they find the remnants of the Soviet Cosmonaut, and decide to hole up until their mission ends. Attempts to find out if NASA knew about the Soviet mission are quelched with a "need to know" provision.

The next morning when they are preparing for take off, they are rattled from outside, and their communications are damaged. Unable to take off without fixing communications, one of the astronauts leaves the ship to repair the damaged equipment...and realizes something is moving around in his space suit.

If this description sounds bland, it's because the film IS bland! Most of the efforts made to keep the audience engaged include zoom shots that you can't really see anything in, sounds that seem to have been selected to try to create atmosphere, and eerie shadow shots of the astronauts on the moon.

It's the latter that is somewhat effective at creating the menacing atmosphere...but nothing is really done with it.

In the end, none of the astronauts make it home, the government is implicated in knowingly sending the men to their deaths (as per usual), and we learn that the moon rocks that were so strange are in fact are spider like creatures that, not unlike the aliens in Alien, seem to get inside your body, multiply, and cause you to explode in a wash of...alien rock spiders!

Oh, and we also learn that something like 500 tonnes of moon rocks have been brought back to Earth...most were given away as souvenirs and gifts to foreign dignitaries...and many are now unaccounted for! Duh-duh-daaaaahhh!

In earnest, this is a very shallow imitation of the Blair Witch Project, except involving aliens and the evil government rather than a witch. My advice would be to save your money, and either watch "Alien" or "The Blair Witch Project." This is not a good movie!
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