Review of Alien vs. Predator

How does one even write a review of this movie without trying to commit suicide? Looking back at all of the classic films that came from these two franchises (Predator, Alien & Aliens) it makes me sad to see this abomination of a "double-sequel" half-assed for everyone to see. It's out there for the masses to observe. There's no hiding it. If done by someone who actually cared about the source material and the back story of these two franchises, this film could have been something very special and just plain exciting. I don't mean an Academy Award-worthy effort, here. Just common sense and a flair for adventure/sci-fi cinema. It seems Anderson and his whole crew lack both of these skills. The cast that has been assembled, including Sanaa Lathan and Lance Henriksen himself, are all very competent and sci-fi friendly. Also, the special effects are all well done and lovely to behold. The problem lies in the story and execution of the whole affair. The plot seems extremely slight, compared to even the last two Alien movies. Predator 2 is a classic compared to AvP (notwithstanding, P2 is indeed quite a guilty pleasure). Most lovers of sci-fi action and adventure will ask themselves if they saw what they really saw after the movie ends. "Is that all?" I really wanted to like and enjoy this flick, but in the end there was no way on earth I could embrace such a corporate, lifeless, thrown-together piece of studio propaganda. If it had been made by someone more competent and the tone had been more suited to the material, I guarantee you it would have at least made double at the box office. It had no legs and disappeared from the landscape shortly after it debuted. What a waste and what an utter disappointment this all turned out to be.