3/10
Tired re-re-rehashing of past films.
19 January 2012
Warning: Spoilers
The Three Musketeers... a perennial favourite like Robin Hood, it seems. Do we really NEED this many movies about the same origin story of how D'Artagnan joins the Muskies?

No matter how many things you try and add, the basic story is still the same and it's down to whoever's interpretation people prefer. I have to say that the plot of The Man In The Iron Mask was at least unique. This is just yet another tired old retelling of the same old basic tale, but without even full character development. Someone in Hollywood had some money to spend. That was the whole driver for this project.

The acting was fine, but never really notable. These are all good actors, we know, but they seemed like they had almost nothing to work with and simply could not escape their contract. Macfadyen was especially dull - I could accept that as his normal character behaviour, but he was like that in every single scene. Is Athos really that dead inside that the most heartwrenching sorrows and gutwrenching action cannot even stir as much as a raised eyebrow?

I'm as much a fan as anyone of movies where you *can* switch your mind off if you so choose, but this is one where you have to - 3-D bandwaggons and flying ships galore, supported by silly gimmick jokes, notable actors (who I guess only did the film for some pocket money), great set pieces, mediocre props and the usual tired old themes and dialogue all make for one spectacularly anti-climactic film.

Take all those cool elements of previous Musketeer films, combine them and add some bits seen in other films - The end product is this 2011 version. Nothing special, nothing new and nothing more of note than Orlando Bloom's rockabilly haircut.

To use a cooking analogy - The film follows an obvious and well-used recipe, yet fails to supply the right ingredients in the right measures, bakes at the wrong temperature for the wrong time, fails to rise and then burns to a crisp, before the chef gives up completely and gets a take-out from Billy's Bad Burger Joint down the local back alley instead...
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