There are two types of people in this world: people who like Godfrey Ho's cut-and-paste, cheaper than Chinese all-you-can-eat, Ninja-flicks and those who don't.
I'm with the first category. See, people don't understand why you'd waste endless hours watching films, spliced from leftover Asian C-grade movies, left on the editing floor, and random scenes of European actors wearing tacky ninja costumes and fighting stuntmen, impersonating said European actors. They cannot gasp the grandness behind ninjas in various colors (in this case it's traditional black, camouflage and red) slugging it out over a mythical statue, that seems to have been purchased at a souvenir store at the airport. How to explain the awesomeness of Jaguar Wang, the coolest human-being that has ever walked the earth? Has the English language words to describe a gangster boss called 'Tiger', wearing a golden wig or do those words have to be invented first? A toy-robot delivering a secret message on a VHS-tape, throwing shuriken at steamed crabs and a Garfield-telephone – it has been rumoured that those scenes raised Sergei Eisenstein from the dead and gave Werner Herzog an aneurism.
We may never find out why the 'Lifetime Achievement Award' has no yet been presented to Godfrey Ho or why there hasn't been a rain of Oscars (tm) for "Ninja Terminator" (we can only suspect it has to do with nepotism), but, all things considered, we really have no choice but to give the movie 10 points out of 10 and declare it the perfectest film ever filmed if you like Godfrey Ho's ninja flicks, that is. If you don't, you might give it a little less.
I'm with the first category. See, people don't understand why you'd waste endless hours watching films, spliced from leftover Asian C-grade movies, left on the editing floor, and random scenes of European actors wearing tacky ninja costumes and fighting stuntmen, impersonating said European actors. They cannot gasp the grandness behind ninjas in various colors (in this case it's traditional black, camouflage and red) slugging it out over a mythical statue, that seems to have been purchased at a souvenir store at the airport. How to explain the awesomeness of Jaguar Wang, the coolest human-being that has ever walked the earth? Has the English language words to describe a gangster boss called 'Tiger', wearing a golden wig or do those words have to be invented first? A toy-robot delivering a secret message on a VHS-tape, throwing shuriken at steamed crabs and a Garfield-telephone – it has been rumoured that those scenes raised Sergei Eisenstein from the dead and gave Werner Herzog an aneurism.
We may never find out why the 'Lifetime Achievement Award' has no yet been presented to Godfrey Ho or why there hasn't been a rain of Oscars (tm) for "Ninja Terminator" (we can only suspect it has to do with nepotism), but, all things considered, we really have no choice but to give the movie 10 points out of 10 and declare it the perfectest film ever filmed if you like Godfrey Ho's ninja flicks, that is. If you don't, you might give it a little less.