With the cunning plan of tapping one shoulder whilst actually being behind the other one(worthy of Baldrick, no?), PsyCrow manages to grab Princess What's-Her-Name, and Jim now has to get her back, through a series of 9(nope, you read that right, that few) stages, the last one in which he races him to her. I'm going to be comparing this to the first one throughout, as these are the only two in the series I've tried(I'm not touching the 3D one, this and Sonic the Hedgehog just work better in only two dimensions), and I find that one to be far superior to this. The positives first; this has a larger selection of weaponry. Other than the submachinegun, there were only a slow but powerful charge, and a heatseeking missile. Those return(if the latter two are in different shape now... why is the last one a house...?), and are joined by another automatic(which fires in three directions, from all fingers of the "glove" that it is... yes, it eats ammo, still, aiming is much faster, because it spreads it so well), a BFG kind of thing(it's a chimney. ...why would you presume *I* know what the reason for that is?), and... something that blows bubbles, I'm not sure there's any use for it. That's a doubling of the armory(one could argue that you don't need all of them, and that you had what you needed before, but I'm trying to be upbeat here), and you can now cycle between them, instead of just use whatever you last picked up(or rather, the strongest one you have), first. The graphics are improved, with more colors, and everything looks dynamic and vibrant(there's an OK amount of designs, and their quality is fine). That does bring me to the negatives, however. The visual glitches are sometimes all over the place(not to mention the several places where you get "stuck") and are quite distracting(liquid clearly coming out from right under the showerhead, no physical reaction from the... large marshmallow(?) when something is bounced off it, etc.). They add to an overall feeling of this being unfinished, phoned in and rushed. This is a good time to get into how short it is, as I established earlier. I completed this in an hour and a half, barely enough time to get used to the controls(that's not hyperbole, I noted that not long before I was done with this... and it's not the first time I play it. There's also barely any use of the parachute feature, though it's a decent addition with possibilities. You also get a different thing to flip through the air, meaning you don't use your head as a whip(which you retain) for this purpose, and this affects nothing). With no point system, there is little replayability. There are not as many interesting concepts, and even fewer unique experiences in this. Most of what you do here, you do in other games(maybe this was first, and partly falls victim to its own success... I'm just reporting what I see), and not that much of it is memorable or all that entertaining. You return abducted cows(avoiding those pesky UFO's... yup, the hicks were right all along) to their barns(so that their milk can be harvested, and let you progress further... did I mention that some of them have a lit fuse when you pick them up(as in, carry them), and you have to dunk them in water to keep them from exploding?), dodge falling grannies in a gradually rising chair, get turned into a blind salamander and "fly" through what I suppose is a colon(stopping along the way to participate in a game-show, with such timeless, deep questions posed as "may I please go to the bathroom"(and they are really all that random)), float upwards with an inflated head full of helium(trying to avoid Evil the Cat from popping it, with the pebbles he shoots at you with a blowgun or his claws as he descends rapidly towards you, after using his tail to heli-lift himself up above you)), maneuvers through an area with paper *everywhere*, and it will give you nightmares about filing cabinets(and the end of the area has an unforgettably abstract gag), escort(well, push) a bomb through the air, on the one jet-engine of a plane you have towards Major Mucus who has spread since we saw him last, and who has forces working for him this time, and run around... Brunch Country, I guess, in the punnily titled Level Ate. In that last one I mention, we finally meet the aggressive saltshaker that a handful of other enemies have sounded like. Yes, the audio is immensely limited in this. It wouldn't be as noticeable if they didn't insist on everything emitting something, so they reuse them. The super-suited Earthworm himself handles worse, similar to the difference between the first and second Prince of Persia titles(we're talking the '89 and '92 versions), not as bad as the Disney Hercules VG. Still, in a classic arcade action adventure platformer, it should depend on the player's skill, not the game screwing you over. It's challenging, and there are three difficulty settings. The tough stuff comes from requiring fast reflexes, great hand-to-eye coordination and not the occasional "puzzle"(they're simple, maybe "task" is a more fitting term). For some reason, there's only one boss foe(near the climax), and with how easy he is, it's too late and much too late. It aids this in a feeling of nothing being accomplished. Not all of this is even increasingly hard. The humor is cartoony, goofy, out of nowhere and gross(well, not as much as before, thankfully), again, and if you like that style of comedy, you will love that aspect of this. There is a little disturbing content in this(are those... puppies plummeting to their death?! ...or are they stuffed?), otherwise it's perfectly child-friendly. I recommend this to fans of this genre and series, if you shouldn't expect it to be as excellent as the original is. 7/10
Review of Earthworm Jim 2
