Seeing the moon falling onto Earth would not shock you as much as this movie - yes, it's that bad. It's not easy to watch, but if you manage, you'll see some of the most amazing things in your entire life bar none, because this baby is packed:
SPOILERS below !
If you made it this far, you would deserve a reward. I though no movie would ever beat my No. 1 worst "Journey to Promethea", but this is just as bad if not even surpasses it.
Conclusion is the same as the title: I wish that glacier would get all of them, including the director, the writers and anyone else who helped produce this stinker and prevent them from making more movies as bad as this.
SPOILERS below !
- you have a giant glacier the size of Australia running wild around the country side crushing everything in its path for a plot,I kid you not. You are shown volcanoes erupting somewhere north and in a matter of minutes the glacier is already ravaging entire cities in the US. They estimate the speed at 200 mph, but it's most likely 10 times that( I mean the glacier traveled from it's initial location to the city where the action starts, faster than our characters could get from the airport to their home to pack their bags) - wow, that's a pretty fast glacier. First of all the Great icecap is at the south Pole, not north Pole, but never mind that as the brain must be completely shut down in order to prevent permanent damage
- some time later you have an emergency plane landing due to the lack of fuel, however as soon as it touches ground the fuel is flowing from the airplane's tank until it explodes like a giant gas tanker in a huge ball of flames. Moments later the plane is shown to be only little burnt...
- now how do you find your missing family member ? Well, after you spend most of the movie traveling to New York in order to find/save her you find out that she actually ended up in New Jersey. Luckily, you remember that you have the phone with you which can easily track any other phone even though phones barely work. Even James Bond would be envious of such a gadget and skill. And what do you do with that phone which is your only mean of finding your lost sister ? Well, you drop it in the snow, of course ! And even though it's just half a meter away, no, you don't pick it up, because there's no time for that. It's easier to grab a pistol from a frozen policeman and start shooting. Now, if you're a girl caught in a storm with big chinks of ice falling everywhere, trying to escape from a huge glacier's path and you hear gunshots, what would be your first thought: a) hide/move away from the gunshots b) let's go meet the guy, it's probably dad looking for me ! Yeap, you choose b) - congratulations you are saved :)
- and finally, how do you stop a giant glacier the size of country against which even nuclear bombs had no visual effect ? This is simply hilarious no matter how you think of it - how would nuclear weapons have no visual effect on a glacier ?!? at the very least it would make a huge explosion and the heat from an H bomb would melt a chunk the size of a city in it, but hey, our glacier is very tough, not even planted explosives have any effect on it. The glacier is impervious to the most powerful weapons mankind has at its disposal, BUT not against a few small rockets fired from jet fighters. It only takes a few hits from those and what do you know, the glacier is stopped dead in its tracks...
If you made it this far, you would deserve a reward. I though no movie would ever beat my No. 1 worst "Journey to Promethea", but this is just as bad if not even surpasses it.
Conclusion is the same as the title: I wish that glacier would get all of them, including the director, the writers and anyone else who helped produce this stinker and prevent them from making more movies as bad as this.