Review of Café

Café (II) (2011)
1/10
Amazingly bad
28 April 2012
Rarely provoked to write a review. Apparently if you have the right connections, an amazingly large and sanctimonious ego you can fund a vanity project that is so transparent, preachy and burdened by some of the most artless boring and endless exposition dialog that will ever be committed to video. If you have those connections and enough money you can also obtain a cast that includes some Grade B celebrities to appear in your vanity productions. What you CANNOT do, apparently, is convince anyone to distribute this crap. Thanks to Showtime at 9AM on a Saturday morning, a few bored individuals were exposed to this, thankfully without paying for the experience. According to IMDb this is the writer's 3rd attempt to prove he has talent. Since neither of the others ever got any distribution either, it seems he simply won't take NO for an answer. There's a certain rubberneck fascination in watching it play out, as when you drive bye a really grisly car accident, and if it's this or a coin collection infomercial to act as your night light, it's a reasonable choice. You can actually see the gears in his brain grinding as he 'proves' how deep and clever he can be. Therein lies the comedy.
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