5/10
Big tits aplenty, but no dragons (there are zombies, but they aren't the ones with the big tits)
29 April 2012
I remember hearing about this film's existence when it was released a couple of years back. The title is irresistible (I think the original title it was appearing under at festivals was just Big Tits Dragon, and the UK DVD is entitled Big Tits Zombies; I opted to list it under its literally translated Japanese title), but I kind of figured it would be a Snakes on a Plane scenario where the title was by far the most amusing thing about it. I was mostly correct, but it wasn't a total... um, bust, I guess. It's bad, probably even godawful, but it's so dumb and silly and cheap that it has a kind of charm. It kind of comes in a wave of Japanese splatter flicks that were popularized by movies such as Machine Girl and Tokyo Gore Police. This one has like no money behind it, though, so the special effects are all made with super-cheap CGI. Except for one bit where two of our stripper heroes get fake blood spattered all over their big tits, I think all the blood is CGI. The five hot actresses help make the film a lot more tolerable. Aoi Sola is the star. She's a pretty popular Japanese actress who, indeed, has some big tits. She's gorgeous and I actually have a couple of more films with her in it coming up (in fact, I rediscovered this movie because I had just ordered a different movie with her in it; she also stars in a film called A Man, a Woman and a Wall which is on Netflix Instant and which is frequently recommended to me by the site). Risa Kasumi (looking a bit like Eihi Shiina from Audition and Tokyo Gore Police) and Mari Sakurai (playing a goth chick who likes to cut her wrists, a weirdly common character in these sorts of films) play the other two major characters, with Tamayo and Io Aikawa rounding out our Strippers 5. There really isn't that much nudity in the film. The total amount of boob shots equals about one whole minute. It's pretty tame for a Japanese film - probably could have premiered on Japanese Nickelodeon if it weren't for it's most hilarious scene, which features a fire-belching demon vagina.
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