Review of Hijacked

Hijacked (2012)
3/10
Worst movie I've ever seen...
16 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
...or so I thought, at least before the very end. No spoiler alert here, but I gotta say, the end kinda salvaged this one from being a whirlwind fail of epic proportions.

After watching Hijacked, one thing is entirely and abundantly clear, Randy Couture is no actor, and probably never will be. I didn't watch this in the first place because I thought so, no, I picked this one because Randy Couture is a former MMA fighter, and that's what I wanna see him do in movies: fight. There are a few of those sequences in Hijacked alright, but those are way too scarce and way too short. Instead of writing a role for him where he had to manhandle his opponents the right way, the producers and writers of Hijacked obviously want the other way, hoping they would outsmart us all, by giving Mr Couture a dialog driven part. Well, that didn't work out so well, so they actually outsmarted themselves.

Yes, there are a few glimpses of real surprise, like two very premature deaths for instance, but that's right about it. Often enough you should stick with what you know, because 99% of the time it will work, but that's not what they were gunning for here. The dialogs seem to have been written by some five year old, the acting is at times worse than at my local summer amateur theater, and the story line seems like a potpourri of movies seen a thousand times before. Why in the world Dominic Purcell agreed on participating is way beyond me. And Vinnie Jones probably just did it for a laugh, or maybe he lost a drinking bet, I don't know.

To be fair, the story would have been sufficient, if there would have been less dialog and more fighting. Just a good ole Steven Segal-esque movie, that would have done just fine. But no, they wanted to make a "real film" out of it, and in the end missed almost all points by a mile. So yeah, this movie has no point at all, and I'll be damned if ever watch this one again.

As for Randy Couture, well, I think his stuff might even work as a lead, but he would need a real script for that, less dialog and sure as hell more fighting scenes. Because that's what he does best, and if he doesn't see that, well, than his acting "career" is already done. I would watch real action movies starring Randy Couture as the lead persona, I really would, because the fights on Hijacked, as short as they were, reminded us of what he can do with his fists, elbows and knees, so just let him do that. All that of course doesn't mean write an awful movie and Couture will fight his way through. No, write something good, something that actually makes sense, and then you let him fight the bad guys. Sounds rather easy, but as Hijacked has showed, it's far from it.
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