So, I didn't expect this movie to be great because I read the reviews on here, but I suspected that it was being judged harshly by fans of the original (and who over the age of 25 isn't?). It's not. If anything, I don't understand how it is still getting a passing grade. The only explanation I can find is many people like the overload of CGI it serves up. The most fun I've gotten out of this movie though, was at the start watching Kate Beckinsale in tight panties and in the car ride home bitching about the movie with my friends. The two hours in between were a total waste of time.
There's the story, which is different in what the bad guys are trying to do and it not being on mars but otherwise so alike to the original that there is absolutely not a single surprise. The only surprise to me was that they didn't go with the obvious parallel ending to the original, which sounds like it would be good, but it's not because the way Cohaagen tries to go about achieving his goal is so unbelievable that when his plan is foiled there's really no sense of relief or grandeur, going with the obvious would have been better. Then what makes it worse is that at every turn they seem to want to remind you of the original movie, by rehashing lots of details from the original (the three breasted hooker walks by without any explanation or logical reason for her being there, including the cheesy you'll wish you had three hands quote, someone gets their hand cut off by an elevator, Quaid/Hauser getting caught by customs because he only has three lines prepared, etc.). Also, the music is ripped from the first movie, which could have been good but isn't because the movie sucks so badly. At the ending when the music starts in in the same way as when the original had just given Mars an atmosphere, it's just a slap in the face because you're reminded how the new ending is so totally inconsequential, it's just not deserving of such dramatic music, it doesn't work. The action and CGI is OK, but it seems to me like it's going through the motions. They threw a lot of money at it, but it doesn't work. The first half of the movie seems to be one big chase and I was bored out of my mind.
Then there's the blatant disregard of physics... I can usually ignore this, but this movie is so bad about it, and with the absence of a plot to distract me, it really bugged me. There's a fast travel line through the earth from the UK to Australia, called the fall, which basically works by letting you fall through the earth to the other side. Now, I can see how that would be possible, in movie logic, so I'd be OK with that. What really bugs me, is how they cope with gravity. If you would do this, gravity would slowly decrease as you approach the earth's core, then start to build up in the opposite direction. Not so in this movie, gravity seems to be totally unaffected while you're falling (you should be weightless already while falling), then around the core, gravity just disappears as if someone threw a switch, and a minute later it comes crashing back with a bang in the opposite direction. That makes absolutely no sense at all. Then, I believe at the beginning of the movie they say the journey takes only a few minutes, but let's say I misunderstood that and it takes 30 minutes. At half an hour, you would still need to have an average speed of 25.000 kph (about 16.000 mph). That's average, you'd be going faster in the middle of your journey. So what do they do during the final scenes of the movie? They open a window and climb along the outside of the craft... If the story would be good, but it's just another thing to show the absolute lack of attention to detail that was put in this movie.
Then there's things like Doug fighting a robot in hand to hand combat and pulling a phone out of his hand without any blood or his hand being mangled for the rest of the movie (seriously, the through-the-nose-brain-surgery device from the original was more believable), it just tests how gullible you are at every turn. As for the actors, I'm not really good at judging how good someone's acting, but Colin is no Arnie. Kate and Jessica succeed in being pretty and that seems to be their purpose. Then, Bill Nighy as the resistance leader??? Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but you can't take him seriously and he's a very bad fit for this role (however small it is). They would have been better off casting someone no one knew yet.
So to summarize, if you want to watch Kate in tight panties and you enjoy loads and loads of CGI and don't care about such things as plot and believability, then you may enjoy this movie. For anyone with half a brain though, don't bother, just watch the original again.
There's the story, which is different in what the bad guys are trying to do and it not being on mars but otherwise so alike to the original that there is absolutely not a single surprise. The only surprise to me was that they didn't go with the obvious parallel ending to the original, which sounds like it would be good, but it's not because the way Cohaagen tries to go about achieving his goal is so unbelievable that when his plan is foiled there's really no sense of relief or grandeur, going with the obvious would have been better. Then what makes it worse is that at every turn they seem to want to remind you of the original movie, by rehashing lots of details from the original (the three breasted hooker walks by without any explanation or logical reason for her being there, including the cheesy you'll wish you had three hands quote, someone gets their hand cut off by an elevator, Quaid/Hauser getting caught by customs because he only has three lines prepared, etc.). Also, the music is ripped from the first movie, which could have been good but isn't because the movie sucks so badly. At the ending when the music starts in in the same way as when the original had just given Mars an atmosphere, it's just a slap in the face because you're reminded how the new ending is so totally inconsequential, it's just not deserving of such dramatic music, it doesn't work. The action and CGI is OK, but it seems to me like it's going through the motions. They threw a lot of money at it, but it doesn't work. The first half of the movie seems to be one big chase and I was bored out of my mind.
Then there's the blatant disregard of physics... I can usually ignore this, but this movie is so bad about it, and with the absence of a plot to distract me, it really bugged me. There's a fast travel line through the earth from the UK to Australia, called the fall, which basically works by letting you fall through the earth to the other side. Now, I can see how that would be possible, in movie logic, so I'd be OK with that. What really bugs me, is how they cope with gravity. If you would do this, gravity would slowly decrease as you approach the earth's core, then start to build up in the opposite direction. Not so in this movie, gravity seems to be totally unaffected while you're falling (you should be weightless already while falling), then around the core, gravity just disappears as if someone threw a switch, and a minute later it comes crashing back with a bang in the opposite direction. That makes absolutely no sense at all. Then, I believe at the beginning of the movie they say the journey takes only a few minutes, but let's say I misunderstood that and it takes 30 minutes. At half an hour, you would still need to have an average speed of 25.000 kph (about 16.000 mph). That's average, you'd be going faster in the middle of your journey. So what do they do during the final scenes of the movie? They open a window and climb along the outside of the craft... If the story would be good, but it's just another thing to show the absolute lack of attention to detail that was put in this movie.
Then there's things like Doug fighting a robot in hand to hand combat and pulling a phone out of his hand without any blood or his hand being mangled for the rest of the movie (seriously, the through-the-nose-brain-surgery device from the original was more believable), it just tests how gullible you are at every turn. As for the actors, I'm not really good at judging how good someone's acting, but Colin is no Arnie. Kate and Jessica succeed in being pretty and that seems to be their purpose. Then, Bill Nighy as the resistance leader??? Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but you can't take him seriously and he's a very bad fit for this role (however small it is). They would have been better off casting someone no one knew yet.
So to summarize, if you want to watch Kate in tight panties and you enjoy loads and loads of CGI and don't care about such things as plot and believability, then you may enjoy this movie. For anyone with half a brain though, don't bother, just watch the original again.