I'm a bit tired of writing reviews for movies none of you will ever see. So let's have a little vocabulary test instead, shall we?
horror (noun) frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting. This film is the antithesis of that word.
comedy (noun) humorous incident or series of incidents. This film, however unintentionally, is this is a nutshell.
gratuitous (adjective) being without apparent reason, cause, or justification. The nude scene involving our heroine in the bath during a dream sequence, for instance.
cheap (adverb) costing very little; relatively low in price. Where to start? The rubbery masks, the dreadful stop-motion animation... Basically, EVERYTHING in the big special effects 'extravaganza' finale.
dub (verb) to alter (a taped soundtrack) by removing some parts and exaggerating others. The director should have done a much better job of this. Oh dear. Oh. Dear.
thespian (noun) an actor or actress. None to be found here, people. Move along.
extras (noun) a person hired by the day to play a minor part, as a member of a mob or crowd. These all die in a variety of gruesome ways. They're the lucky ones, getting out early...
slime (noun) thin, glutinous mud. Tons of it. Green, brown... All throughout the film. Pretty disgusting. Is it scary though? Clue: NO.
dialogue (noun) the lines spoken by characters in drama or fiction. Here, it'll make you laugh. It'll make you cry. But not in a good way.
unbelievable (adjective) too dubious or improbable to be believed. The fact that someone bankrolled such an awful movie about a ghost stuck in some pipes who burns people's skin off with sewage. I mean... REALLY?
friggin' (?) Now, this word isn't in the dictionary, but I'm lead to believe you use it as a substitute for f**k when your granny is staying. They say it a lot in this film. Start a drinking game... you'll be p*ssed before half an hour.
There, I bet you've learned something today, haven't you? Made a nice change from a boring review, didn't it? See you next week, class. And do your homework, will ya... 2/10
horror (noun) frightfully shocking, terrifying, or revolting. This film is the antithesis of that word.
comedy (noun) humorous incident or series of incidents. This film, however unintentionally, is this is a nutshell.
gratuitous (adjective) being without apparent reason, cause, or justification. The nude scene involving our heroine in the bath during a dream sequence, for instance.
cheap (adverb) costing very little; relatively low in price. Where to start? The rubbery masks, the dreadful stop-motion animation... Basically, EVERYTHING in the big special effects 'extravaganza' finale.
dub (verb) to alter (a taped soundtrack) by removing some parts and exaggerating others. The director should have done a much better job of this. Oh dear. Oh. Dear.
thespian (noun) an actor or actress. None to be found here, people. Move along.
extras (noun) a person hired by the day to play a minor part, as a member of a mob or crowd. These all die in a variety of gruesome ways. They're the lucky ones, getting out early...
slime (noun) thin, glutinous mud. Tons of it. Green, brown... All throughout the film. Pretty disgusting. Is it scary though? Clue: NO.
dialogue (noun) the lines spoken by characters in drama or fiction. Here, it'll make you laugh. It'll make you cry. But not in a good way.
unbelievable (adjective) too dubious or improbable to be believed. The fact that someone bankrolled such an awful movie about a ghost stuck in some pipes who burns people's skin off with sewage. I mean... REALLY?
friggin' (?) Now, this word isn't in the dictionary, but I'm lead to believe you use it as a substitute for f**k when your granny is staying. They say it a lot in this film. Start a drinking game... you'll be p*ssed before half an hour.
There, I bet you've learned something today, haven't you? Made a nice change from a boring review, didn't it? See you next week, class. And do your homework, will ya... 2/10