I came across a Ghost Hunters marathon on SyFy by accident over the holiday break and then watched a season of GHI International as well on Netflix (can you tell I quickly became addicted to this train wreck). As evidenced by the fact that I continued to watch, the show clearly has entertainment value, just not for the right reasons. As far as actual ghost hunting goes, the it's absolutely hilarious that the show claims to base any of it's conclusions in science. In the spirit of Dave Damesheck's "Shame Report" Series on NFL.com, I'm debuting BigD's Shame Report: Special Reality TV Edition:
5.) What the hell is up with all the distracting closeups, obnoxious camera angles and over the top soundtrack during the so called "investigations?" Was that mysterious creaking noise coming down the hallway or was that the most annoying soundtrack ever? As a viewer I can't ever tell when something was happening during the investigation or was added for effect later (go figure). Maybe because without all the added effects, this turns into hide-and seek in the dark with a bunch of townies. SHAME!
4.) Why are there always two people on an "investigation" yet it's almost always the case that even though they are standing right next to each other, the other person NEVER hears or sees what the other person saw or heard?
"Did you hear that really creepy, definitely ghost-like sound?" "Huh, what - where?"
Isn't the point of the buddy system here to provide another confirmatory witness to the supposed paranormal activity? These have to be the dummest, non-observant, buddies int he history of reality TV. Oh, and how about you use your "inside ghost hunting voice" when you are talking to your investigator buddy so that, you know, you don't actually miss an actual creak or creepy piano bar coming down the hall from an actual ghost. SHAME!
3.) What credentials do you need to be an "investigator" on this show, anyway? I get the technical guy, because he actually has to know a little bit about lighting, camera, and audio equipment (Best Buy training manual - check) but the other dolts look like they rolled out of "name your favorite sports bar" in "Anytown USA".
How do these clowns qualify as "investigators?" Have they gone to "investigator' school? Do they have an "investigator" certificate from an accredited "investigator" program (or otherwise). Is there an "investigator" app they downloaded?
By the standard of the show, all they need to be able to do is fumble around in the dark with a flashlight and a tape recorder and gamely throw a hissy-fit at the slightest creak or shadow. SHAME!
2.) Can someone explain to me why ghosts only come out when all the lights are turned off? The "ghosts" in question are often times (if not most of the time) reported as being seen in the day by the ...wait for it...people on location who have actually seen them. Yet, in order for their "investigations" to happen, all the lights have to be turned off and the scary night-vision cameras turned on.
Last time I checked, audio can still be recorded during the day, and thermal imaging isn't bothered by daylight either. And how do you see a "shadow" in total darkness anyway (which seems to be the case in every episode)? Wouldn't your flashlight create a shadow, everywhere you looked? Maybe it's because at night, when you are fumbling around in the dark, any little sound or spec of light in the distance is magnified by your brain because, you know - it's creepy and dark?
Here's a suggestion - turn on the lights! How are you going to catch a ghost in total darkness anyway? You don't know where you are, we (the viewers) don't know where you are. Nobody can see dick - it's like hunting with Ray Charles! SHAME!
1.) Hey ghost - can you touch me now? So the lights are off, the cameras are rolling - hey baby, time to get it on! Why are ghosts obligated to be touchy feely on the first date? It's always the same line (or variation) during the investigation: "if you want to let us know you are here - touch one of us. Say your name, baby..."
If a ghost takes a while to manifest themselves to the people actually living in the house, why would they let you get to first base in the span of a few minutes? These are so-called investigations, not lap dances! If somebody barges into your house asking you to touch them and say your name, would you oblige, or call the cops? Can you say stranger danger!?...SHAME!!
And here is your special "ghost hunting edition" white plastic bag of shame to wear.....
5.) What the hell is up with all the distracting closeups, obnoxious camera angles and over the top soundtrack during the so called "investigations?" Was that mysterious creaking noise coming down the hallway or was that the most annoying soundtrack ever? As a viewer I can't ever tell when something was happening during the investigation or was added for effect later (go figure). Maybe because without all the added effects, this turns into hide-and seek in the dark with a bunch of townies. SHAME!
4.) Why are there always two people on an "investigation" yet it's almost always the case that even though they are standing right next to each other, the other person NEVER hears or sees what the other person saw or heard?
"Did you hear that really creepy, definitely ghost-like sound?" "Huh, what - where?"
Isn't the point of the buddy system here to provide another confirmatory witness to the supposed paranormal activity? These have to be the dummest, non-observant, buddies int he history of reality TV. Oh, and how about you use your "inside ghost hunting voice" when you are talking to your investigator buddy so that, you know, you don't actually miss an actual creak or creepy piano bar coming down the hall from an actual ghost. SHAME!
3.) What credentials do you need to be an "investigator" on this show, anyway? I get the technical guy, because he actually has to know a little bit about lighting, camera, and audio equipment (Best Buy training manual - check) but the other dolts look like they rolled out of "name your favorite sports bar" in "Anytown USA".
How do these clowns qualify as "investigators?" Have they gone to "investigator' school? Do they have an "investigator" certificate from an accredited "investigator" program (or otherwise). Is there an "investigator" app they downloaded?
By the standard of the show, all they need to be able to do is fumble around in the dark with a flashlight and a tape recorder and gamely throw a hissy-fit at the slightest creak or shadow. SHAME!
2.) Can someone explain to me why ghosts only come out when all the lights are turned off? The "ghosts" in question are often times (if not most of the time) reported as being seen in the day by the ...wait for it...people on location who have actually seen them. Yet, in order for their "investigations" to happen, all the lights have to be turned off and the scary night-vision cameras turned on.
Last time I checked, audio can still be recorded during the day, and thermal imaging isn't bothered by daylight either. And how do you see a "shadow" in total darkness anyway (which seems to be the case in every episode)? Wouldn't your flashlight create a shadow, everywhere you looked? Maybe it's because at night, when you are fumbling around in the dark, any little sound or spec of light in the distance is magnified by your brain because, you know - it's creepy and dark?
Here's a suggestion - turn on the lights! How are you going to catch a ghost in total darkness anyway? You don't know where you are, we (the viewers) don't know where you are. Nobody can see dick - it's like hunting with Ray Charles! SHAME!
1.) Hey ghost - can you touch me now? So the lights are off, the cameras are rolling - hey baby, time to get it on! Why are ghosts obligated to be touchy feely on the first date? It's always the same line (or variation) during the investigation: "if you want to let us know you are here - touch one of us. Say your name, baby..."
If a ghost takes a while to manifest themselves to the people actually living in the house, why would they let you get to first base in the span of a few minutes? These are so-called investigations, not lap dances! If somebody barges into your house asking you to touch them and say your name, would you oblige, or call the cops? Can you say stranger danger!?...SHAME!!
And here is your special "ghost hunting edition" white plastic bag of shame to wear.....