3/10
Once a hack, always a hack.
7 January 2013
I switched off Paper Moon. I didn't laugh once during What's Up Doc?. I abandoned The Last Picture Show around the time Sam the Lion croaked. Why bother?

Has there ever been a more overrated director than Peter Bogdanovich? The above pictures are his acknowledged classics, films that swept both box office and Oscars in the early seventies, making Bogdanovich's name, and all three are tedious. Last Picture Show may be the most tedious all.

Take away the wide-screen and Robert Surtees's competent but inexpressive b&w photography and Last Picture Show exhibits all the style of an ABC Movie of the Week, circa 1968. John Ford, Howard Hawks, or Orson Welles this is not. Bogdanovich has no sense of camera placement, blocking, or spacial dynamics within a shot, and his cutting wouldn't pass muster in a Hal Roach short circa 1921. Horrible "big head of Pola" reaction shots are cut into every scene for no apparent reason, other than to get Bogdanovich out of the master. Cybill Shepard's big strip scene at the pool party is a prime example of directorial ineptitude: Bogdanovich seems to have had one or two shots of Shepard, a couple of badly posed reaction shots of the nude skinny-dippers watching her remove her clothing, and a medium-close shot of Shepard fumbling with her bra clasp. This paltry footage is then cut together with no sense of drama, suspense, anticipation, eroticism, or any thing else for that matter, and goes on forever. I ended up laughing far harder at this sequence than at anything in What's Up Doc?. Hitch and Ford could get away with shooting cleanly, simply, and with little coverage because they knew what they were doing, and how to get maximum expressiveness out of minimal footage; Bogdanovich, clearly, does not.

Most of the acting is good, and some of it is terrific: the Bottoms brothers, Ben Johnson, just about all of the women. Johnson, giving an excellent performance is, unfortunately, not helped by Bogdanovich and writer Larry McMurtry's penchant for hanging a figurative "vote for me" sign around his neck during his big dramatic "scenes", which had the effect of taking me right out of the movie.

Cybill Shepard is, of course, a stump.

There is lots of nudity and sex, but no eroticism; all the sex is bad sex, and bad bad sex at that. The sex scenes play like a virgin's idea of what bad teen sex would be like, if you understand my meaning.

Typically, once he found success, Bogdanovich dumped his incredibly talented wife, Polly Platt, who later worked successfully with Robert Altman, James Brooks, Louis Malle and others, for the sublimely untalented Shepard. Fittingly, his career then nosedived after a string of cinematic atrocities such as Daisy Miller and At Long Last Love.

It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

The Last Picture Show is proof that there never was much talent there to begin with.
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