My kingdom for a half decent horror film! Thinking that I'd cleanse my mind of the initially promising but ultimately abysmal Lovely Molly, I immediately skipped to this one... Only to find it was just the same! A young lad cuts his pecker off in the introduction because he wants to be a girl, and the deaf woman's sister gets herself mown down on the road, and the stage is all set for no-hards-barred gore fun... But NNOOO!!
Instead we have to tolerate the cutesy-poo relationship between the hearing impaired lady, one of her sickly-sweet pupils and this schoolgirl's seemingly perfect father, who might as well have Generic Love Interest tattooed on the back of his head. Oh, and his break off of their relationship two-thirds of the way through and his reasons for doing it are utterly nonsensical. Couldn't they pay him enough to stay for the entire film? Same with the uniquely voiced Louise Fletcher, who disappears without a trace too with no explanation. You think we should form a search party?
Aside from that, we get sub-standard Sixth Sense style scares, a LOT of running about with no clear motive in mind, and of course the main draw... Girls being abducted and turned into human mannequins. It sounds like fun, and it is... But after a few short interludes of this, its back to the mind numbingly tedious main story, with the hopelessly convoluted antics and CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE dialogue. In fact, it got so painful at times, I wished I was as mutton as the heroine. And if you don't know what I mean, learn to speak Cockney. You Philistine.
Instead we have to tolerate the cutesy-poo relationship between the hearing impaired lady, one of her sickly-sweet pupils and this schoolgirl's seemingly perfect father, who might as well have Generic Love Interest tattooed on the back of his head. Oh, and his break off of their relationship two-thirds of the way through and his reasons for doing it are utterly nonsensical. Couldn't they pay him enough to stay for the entire film? Same with the uniquely voiced Louise Fletcher, who disappears without a trace too with no explanation. You think we should form a search party?
Aside from that, we get sub-standard Sixth Sense style scares, a LOT of running about with no clear motive in mind, and of course the main draw... Girls being abducted and turned into human mannequins. It sounds like fun, and it is... But after a few short interludes of this, its back to the mind numbingly tedious main story, with the hopelessly convoluted antics and CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE dialogue. In fact, it got so painful at times, I wished I was as mutton as the heroine. And if you don't know what I mean, learn to speak Cockney. You Philistine.