I'm not writing this because I believe I am necessarily going to add anything to the static that hasn't already been said. I'm not writing this in order to defend or criticize either. It is a terrible movie and it rests comfortably as one of the legendary worst movies ever made. It is righteously bad. Yet, having just watched it, I am somehow compelled to watch it again. That is why I am writing this. It made me smile. It will be fun to put in words what I just saw. It astounds with its logic defying momentum and brow-furrowing narration. What sets this movie apart for myself and, I feel, other procrastinating viewers is that even if I completely fill the space with 'spoilers', I won't spoil a thing. This one truly needs to be seen to be appreciated. I guarantee you will discover a newer dimension of badness here that you never previously considered. Every scene seems to just border on potential viability but is somehow decorated with at least one instance of purposeful bad direction. Taking into account the well-known fact that the sound was obviously dubbed well after the movie was 'in the can' one can easily surmise that the director is off-screen screaming directions to advise the actors how to act. So, you will see Tor staggering around in the desert both before and after his nuclear encounter as if he is waiting for someone to tell to him take his next step or walk to his left - ('No, Tor! Your other left!) You'll see people firing guns -- or did they? In probably one of the most polite gun battles ever filmed (I almost expected a pinkie or two to be raised during the battle), the looks on their faces frequently appear as if even they are uncertain if their gun fired or not. (Am I out of ammo? OK. Did I just get shot? So, should I die now? OK, thank-you.) **By the way, everyone who dies keeps breathing - sometimes very noticeably.** Meanwhile, a woman loses her kids in the desert somewhere. (Should I be sad in this scene? What? OK. Put a tissue to my face like I'm crying? Wait! I haven't cried yet! You don't care? OK.) This kind of stuff goes on throughout the whole production...except, oddly, the very first scene. The very beginning of the movie is actually quite good. A woman dries herself in a bedroom while a very loud clock ticks away in the background to take her to her appointment with destiny. She sits on the bed, looks up, is choked to death (but continues to breath) and the unseen killer raises her legs to the bed. The scene ends with a close-up of her dead (yet breathing) head pistoning up-and-down in a very suggestive repetitive manner caused by something the killer is doing to her from off-screen. The only thing is -- this scene has nothing to do with the rest of the film. You won't know this until the end of the film though. It doesn't matter anyway. It is what it is.
So, while the actors robot through the movie, the narrator accompanies the action in a droll documentary-like fashion with some of the most inane phrases ever to be uttered without intending to be funny. He attempts to provide the same sort of colorful insight that Rod Serling was so adept at in 'The Twilight Zone'. Naturally, the problem here is that the narrator is NOT Rod Serling. His comments certainly have all of the dry seriousness and alliteration without any of Serling's gift for being compelling. But, it is thought provoking. You will curl your face and ask, "Why did he say that?" and feel as though you missed something. You didn't.
Lastly, one could write volumes detailing the leaps from logic this script provides. After Tor lumbers into the desert just in time to absorb a nuclear blast to become the 'beast', he finds a couple on the side of the road (flat tire), kills the man and leaves his body on the highway behind the car, then kills the woman riding shotgun (who continues to breath), and carries her across the desert for some reason while occasionally sniffing her hair. The local sheriff is alerted to the body on the highway, drives there, and formulates a theory after pacing a few steps around the vehicle. He doesn't have a radio(!) so he jumps back in his car and has to drive all the way back to his office for help thereby leaving body, car, purse...evidence!! unattended. He gets his deputy and they begin to go after Tor without actually knowing what they're going after in the first place. They seem to know that Tor is carrying a body across a desert but have somehow reasoned that he has managed to climb to the top of an inaccessible bluff. After spending too much time trying to climb it and almost falling, it is decided that there is 'no way' to get to the top unless you parachute. It somehow fails to impress them that Tor didn't have the resources to parachute himself - oh well. Besides, it gives the sheriff the opportunity to break out his plane (budget for a plane but not a radio?) and his rifle so he can go sniping the killer. Then comes the perplexing advice from the deputy before taking off, 'Shoot first and ask questions later.' Thus the sheriff ends up sniping a man who is searching the desert for his lost kids!!! Shades of poor man's 'North By Northwest'! Well, this is the bad film that just keeps on giving. Folks who aren't into films can easily dispense this in ignorance. It is bad, no doubts. But if you give it a chance and can get to the end, like me, you kind of look forward to seeing it again and invite a friend so you can share the wonder and take turns teeing off on the insanity. A good movie to bond over.
So, while the actors robot through the movie, the narrator accompanies the action in a droll documentary-like fashion with some of the most inane phrases ever to be uttered without intending to be funny. He attempts to provide the same sort of colorful insight that Rod Serling was so adept at in 'The Twilight Zone'. Naturally, the problem here is that the narrator is NOT Rod Serling. His comments certainly have all of the dry seriousness and alliteration without any of Serling's gift for being compelling. But, it is thought provoking. You will curl your face and ask, "Why did he say that?" and feel as though you missed something. You didn't.
Lastly, one could write volumes detailing the leaps from logic this script provides. After Tor lumbers into the desert just in time to absorb a nuclear blast to become the 'beast', he finds a couple on the side of the road (flat tire), kills the man and leaves his body on the highway behind the car, then kills the woman riding shotgun (who continues to breath), and carries her across the desert for some reason while occasionally sniffing her hair. The local sheriff is alerted to the body on the highway, drives there, and formulates a theory after pacing a few steps around the vehicle. He doesn't have a radio(!) so he jumps back in his car and has to drive all the way back to his office for help thereby leaving body, car, purse...evidence!! unattended. He gets his deputy and they begin to go after Tor without actually knowing what they're going after in the first place. They seem to know that Tor is carrying a body across a desert but have somehow reasoned that he has managed to climb to the top of an inaccessible bluff. After spending too much time trying to climb it and almost falling, it is decided that there is 'no way' to get to the top unless you parachute. It somehow fails to impress them that Tor didn't have the resources to parachute himself - oh well. Besides, it gives the sheriff the opportunity to break out his plane (budget for a plane but not a radio?) and his rifle so he can go sniping the killer. Then comes the perplexing advice from the deputy before taking off, 'Shoot first and ask questions later.' Thus the sheriff ends up sniping a man who is searching the desert for his lost kids!!! Shades of poor man's 'North By Northwest'! Well, this is the bad film that just keeps on giving. Folks who aren't into films can easily dispense this in ignorance. It is bad, no doubts. But if you give it a chance and can get to the end, like me, you kind of look forward to seeing it again and invite a friend so you can share the wonder and take turns teeing off on the insanity. A good movie to bond over.