Rule Number One: NEVER go to a movie with the phrase "Beverly Hills" in it. Particularly if movies with unbelievably droll, stupid, overused, and ridiculous story lines and dialogue don't appeal to you. Let's start with the cast of characters. Poor, poor Shelley Long. Evidently her residuals from "Cheers" have run out long ago. I'd have preferred that she joined Lindsay Lohan at the local rehab than work on this turkey. And what about that phony, red fright wig? A little homage to "Private Benjamin," eh? But as much as it worked for the clearly superior Goldie Hawn, alas, all it succeeded at was making me long for Goldie. As for the rest of the cast—the little girls—what can I say? When will Hollywood ever grow tired of the tired, old Hollywood cliché? One pretty girl, one poor girl, one Latina girl, one black girl, what, no Asian girl?, and the de riguer nerdy girl with the round glasses and creepy disposition (it's called "comic relief," I believe). If you took "Ugly Betty," "Pretty Woman," "The Addams Family," and "Sister Act," and put them all together, you STILL wouldn't have anything but an empty, boring piece of cinematic garbage not worthy of anyone's attention. And speaking of "attention," if you have insomnia, just pick up a copy of this film and put it on. In fifteen minutes, you'll be sound asleep. Trust me. Addendum: Okay, there was one decent line in this entire mess. It was when Shelley was dancing with the dictator of a foreign county. She sez: "So, what do they call you? "Dictator" or just, "Dick"? Okay, I said it.
Review of Troop Beverly Hills
