3/10
Long and Boring......and Long!
13 October 2013
Warning: Spoilers
This 2-part double feature, character study, and drama is slated to be shown as two separate films, but at its world premiere I was shown both films as one continuous feature length film. "The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby" will open in the coming months and stars the on screen talents of Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, Ciaran Hinds, Bill Hader, Viola Davis, Jess Weixler, and William Hurt. This film comes to us from writer and director Ned Benson, and this is his first full length feature film after successfully bringing to life many short films.

Well people sometimes you talk about technical aspects of a film & I will talk about this film in such a manner, however sometimes you talk about a movie personally or how it struck you personally….and that's where I'm going to begin. This is the longest, most boring and pointless waste of time that I have come across in a good long while. To put it into perspective this is only a few moments shorter than "Titanic" or "Schindler's List", and either of those films could be considered a laugh-a-minute compared to this thing. You guys out there know that I never spoil movies but this is a spoiler-free review because nothing happens in this movie, which means that I couldn't spoil it if I even wanted to. All of the people in this movie just move from scene to scene where nothing is connected in such a way as to propel the narrative forward, and to put it in the simplest of terms if "Eleanor Rigby" was any more dull then I would've been watching real life.

In my opinion filmmaker Ned Benson violated the very first rule of why people plan to take time out of their day, why people put money aside for the multiplex, and why in most instances that people travel a good distance to a theater…they do all of these things because they want to be entertained. I'm going to tell you guys something right now, and all of the artsy fartsy people aren't going to be able to give me their character study bullshit about this movie because I have an answer for them. The answer is this. The two ladies behind me we're snoring most of the film, the guy sitting next to me was frequently bitching and moaning about how terrible this was to his wife, and I myself had to get up out of my seat & stand in the back of the theater for a few moments to avoid falling asleep myself. "The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby" was screened for us at 2:00 in the afternoon so I ask you, does this sound good to anyone? These are my true and honest experiences sitting at the world premiere, and I'm not going to change my position because most other critics agree to like this film.

I will say however after going through my notes that I will complement & give credit where credit is due. First the girl that portrays Chastain's sister is independent film queen Jess Weixler, and she is a brilliant breath of fresh air and a sign of hope during a duration of time that is anything but speedy. Her scenes with Chastain are probably the project's best, and Chastain is once again well above average. She's solidly founded in this character and I can sympathize with her, but at the same time she is such an indecisive and morose individual that you just want to give her a swift kick in the derrière and tell her to get over it! Make a decision….do something! On the flip side James McAvoy stood out to me as lighter and funnier than his counterpart. Even though McAvoy's Conor is anything but a perfect character, I did always feel like he was more of a victim than anyone else. Without question the project always plays to the favor of the Eleanor character, even though in my humble opinion she is a very flawed protagonist. Then I will concede that McAvoy's buddy played by Bill Hader was such a welcomed treat, and that's because without him and his humor everyone would have been snoring instead of just the two ladies behind me.

This writer and director crafts a quality looking picture, but fills it with a central heroine that just doesn't know what she wants. Boo-Freakin-Hoo, and welcome to the real world! There is her father, her mother, her sister, her professor, and most all her husband right off the top of my head that are all ready and willing to help this character, but the problem is that she just doesn't want it. Then I just couldn't get over how many times Eleanor would do something with no motivation or explanation, and this lead to more than a few unresolved conflicts.

At 3 hours and 15 minutes "The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby" felt so long that I actually thought that it was December when I came out. Boy I can't stress enough again how very lucky I was to attend the world premiere screening where I was able to see both parts of this "Character Study". You know because 1 hour and 35 minutes just wasn't enough enjoyment for 1 afternoon, no this guy had to pile on another 1 hour and 40 minutes just in case you couldn't get enough the first go-round. What really sucked more than anything was that out of the entire film festival this was by far the longest film that I saw, and was unfortunately one of the worst as well. At the end of this investment of time you truly have learned almost nothing new than when you began this journey over 3 hours previous. Nick's Reel Screen Review is a very dismal 1 star out of 4, and that is for the very dismal, slow, and un-entertaining "The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby".
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