Review of The Counselor

THE COUNSELOR (2013) * Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem, Brad Pitt, Bruno Ganz, Rosie Perez, Ruben Blades, Goran Visnjic, Dean Norris, (uncredited: John Leguizamo) Disappointing neo-noir from Ridley Scott and Cormac McCarthy (his first - and should be his last - original screenplay) which makes not-a-lick-of-sense about titular Fassbender (surprisingly wooden) who finds himself in over his head in a drug deal gone awry involving mysterious cowboy middleman PItt (far-too-sedate here), an obnoxious nightclub owner (Bardem relying on wild-hair and rock star accouterments instead of 'acting), and a drug cartel out for bloody vengeance. The cardinal sin of this potboiler is the first leaden hour cannot compensate for its too-quick-to-kill final one and wasting Cruz completely. While Diaz is the film's saving grace as a femme fatale with a feline complex nothing else is worthy or remarkable except how much of a dud this truly is.