Bulletproof (1987)
8/10
Only a butthorn could fail to be amused.
21 November 2013
There's uber cheesy 1980s action nonsense and then there's "Bulletproof". This thing is so utterly daft it may lead one to believe that the filmmakers had their tongues in their cheeks to some degree. It's cheerfully dumb fun that should have viewers busting a gut, or shaking their heads at the ridiculousness of it all. The good guy is a seemingly indestructible goof ball and the villains are all pure one dimensional scum - not that that's a bad thing. In movies like "Bulletproof", that's what you hope for. There's plenty of explosions and plenty of gunfire; this may be stupid, but it sure as hell ain't boring.

A lively, hilarious Gary Busey is cop Frank "Bulletproof" McBain, so nicknamed because of the amount of bullets that his body has taken (39 and counting). He keeps these souvenirs in a mason jar in his bathroom. He's forcibly pressed back into service by the military after they've *deliberately* allowed a super duper tank of theirs to be snatched up by terrorists. McBain, almost a one man show, takes on all comers, including a Mexican creep named Brogado (Rene Enriquez of 'Hill Street Blues'), a Libyan goon named Kartiff (a priceless Henry Silva), and a Russian thug played by the eternally bad ass William Smith.

Director Steve Carver ("Big Bad Mama", "Lone Wolf McQuade") was an old hand at action by this point, and he keeps this patently absurd story moving right along. The cast is full of familiar faces, so buffs can have a good time playing Spot the Character Actor; Thalmus Rasulala ("Blacula"), L.Q. Jones ("The Wild Bunch"), Mills Watson ("Cujo"), R.G. Armstrong ("Race with the Devil"), Luke Askew ("Rolling Thunder"), Lincoln Kilpatrick ("The Omega Man"), delectable Lydie Denier ("Satan's Princess"), Juan Fernandez ("The Collector"), Redmond Gleeson ("Dreamscape"), and the great Danny Trejo all turn up as well. Smith and Silva are delicious in their roles; one has to hand it to Silva for having his swarthy villain act down pat after so many years of practice. "In my country, women have RESPECT!" Lovely Darlanne Fluegel plays McBains' former flame, one of the Army personnel who've been captured along with the tank.

One need never worry about having to tax their brains when it comes to entertainment such as "Bulletproof". It's an absolute hoot from beginning to end.

Eight out of 10.
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