Attila (2013)
2/10
And just when you thought you had seen everything...
26 April 2014
Alright, well what can be said, this is definitely not one of the finest moments in the movie-making history of The Asylum. When I saw their logo on the screen as the first thing, I sort of lost motivation to watch this movie. And had I checked IMDb first and seeing how the movie has been rated, I would have stopped dead in my tracks and spent my time on something else. But then again, from time to time (rare as it might be, though), The Asylum do manage to put out a movie that surprises and turns out to be great. "Attila", however, was definitely not one of those rare instances.

The storyline in the movie was adequate, take it for what it is; supernatural nonsense without any coherency towards realism. This movie is a no-brainer; the type you could watch during a really bad hangover.

The acting in the movie was wooden and rigid, and that really did nothing to help lift up the movie. But the acting wasn't the main detraction against the enjoyment of the movie. It was the effects and the stupidity of it all.

This movie failed on so many occasions and accounts. First of all, what scientist with a significant discovery in the staff of Moses, would examine it so carelessly and without protective devices, such as gloves, brushes, etc. to preserve the found and not contaminate it? And the scene itself where he cuts his finger on the unnaturally ragged and sharp teeth of the corpse was so forced and staged, it looked like he wasn't even trying to make it look like an accident. And what happened to those fangs once the corpse resurrected, they just turned into normal teeth, right...

As for the subject of the found piece of the staff, sure I can buy into blood resurrecting the long dead Hun warrior, given the supernatural storyline, but where did his pristine outfit come from? And why was it only his face that was a decayed zombie-like visage, while the rest of his body was ordinary whole and without a trace of decay?

Proceeding with the awakened Hun warrior; bullets fired against him produce sparks upon impact with his person. Wait, what? Seriously? So the guy is made of metal? It was just ridiculous. And how would a person from the period of Attila know how to roll under a moving car, directly under the chassis to break the car and take it out of commission? I was laughing so hard when I saw that scene.

The movie's cover looks alluring and interesting, but it is so far from the actual contents of the movie as it could almost physically be. Do not get suckered in by the cover, because you are setting yourself up for a most horrible disappointing.

If you enjoy super campy and cheesy movies with horrible story lines and even worse effects, then you might find some perverse enjoyment in watching "Attila". Otherwise, then I wouldn't really recommend that you spend your time on this particular movie.
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