Good Columbo plot and formula covers up dreadful writing.
1 May 2014
Like the other reviewers, I generally enjoyed this episode, which pretty much sticks to formula and has a decent murder plot with lots of real sleuthing for the good detective to figure out. However, there were two aspects that I think really kept it from being great - neither of which anyone else has mentioned. Firstly, I never was a great George Hamilton fan. Not only did his crazy tanning efforts totally disfigure his truly handsome face of the early years, he simply was not a very good actor. I think he was more truthful than humble when he said that he was a movie star, not an actor. There are none of the subtle changes in facial expressions and tone that the true stars like McGoohan and Cassidy implemented so well. He either smiles to Columbo, or loses his temper. There are none of the subtle in-between expressions, where you smile while indicating irritation or discomfort. Secondly, I thought the writing was dreadful. I have a simple test for the quality of a Columbo episode: see how many enjoyable quotes there are. The great ones had tons of funny quips about Columbo's quirks, and subtle hints by the detective that revealed his train of thought and suspicions. This movie had exactly one decent line (which I submitted to the site), when the victim chokingly states he can't breath, and Anders quips, 'I told you those things will kill ya.' There was not a single other line that I could rate as even half decent. All attempts at humor, which usually add so much to this series, were dreadful here, such as the infantile and overly extended scene where Columbo crashes into Anders' car, or the one where he picks up 'dog' from the pedicure, or when he asks about the cost of Anders' shirt and wonders why his own shirt is so much cheaper even though it 'travelled just as far.' Pullease. Can professional writers do no better than that? Finally, as in many late Columbos, instead of making the detective sound quirky and old-fashioned, it makes him speak like an old dimwit, who explains everything as if to a three year old - such as the demonstration with the typewriter pages being pulled out, or when showing Anders the cigarette butts. It just makes you wince. In this episode, it is the overall plot and the old Columbo formula that saves matters and makes it enjoyable - despite all its faults.
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