Feng Shui (2004)
1/10
Taking a horror premise to ridiculous extremes.
17 July 2014
Warning: Spoilers
There are a lot of things that are so wrong about this movie and almost every Pinoy horror film I've ever encountered. Bad makeup (wet oatmeal on the sides of the mouth, very cutting edge), bad effects, bad lighting (if not the type used in haunted house rides in rural fairs, then the type that looked like they're religious statues prepped for a procession), and incredibly bad acting (Kris Aquino, enough said).

One thing stands out like a sore thumb though: the total lack of irony and the clueless pomposity and pretentiousness of the people who make them.

I mean, if you're forced to die on pile of Red Horse beer, or by rat excrement, or by a vaguely menacing cloud of chickens, simply because your Chinese zodiac sign says so, you know you're in a movie that should have been tagged as comedy instead of horror.

I think it all comes down to the cheap, profit-driven mess studios call "production". There are a handful of Filipino horror flicks out there that are actually really good (Sigaw comes to mind).

And to think they dared to push for a Hollywood remake of this film. Someone even mentioned Brad Pitt(?!?!?!).

Really. Comedy. If I could go any lower than 1 in the scale, I would have pushed it all the way down to -10.
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