3/10
Third-rate, unfunny script from the usual ex-East Enders suspects
20 July 2014
A week ago, just prior to the DVD/Blu-Ray release, this film had an average score of 7.1 on IMDb. Less than a week later, once people other than friends of the cast and crew have had a chance to actually see it, the average score is down to 5.1 I'd be very surprised if it doesn't sink a lot lower once more people watch it and start voting.

Note to self: in future check the number of votes before buying in to scores shown on IMDb as a good way to find under-rated gems on Blu-Ray! 7.1 for a movie I wouldn't give a 4 to!

It's interesting that Danny Dyer (who appears in the opening scene) and Ian Lavendar don't appear on the IMDb credits - are they too embarrassed to be associated with the end result? Dyer isn't even mentioned on the packaging - has his stock really fallen so low that they have to remove mention of him to avoid damaging sales?

The real problem here is the script. It's like something your mates would put together at school. Lead actor/director and co-writer Nick Nevern clearly has some talent - because the results are well-paced, stylish and convincingly (for the most part) decently acted - but script writing isn't one of them. I smiled twice during the whole movie (which, to be honest, is more than I expected given "the usual suspects" involved in this) but when the best "joke" is the white hero thinking his black son by a white wife is an "apple that doesn't fall far from the tree" it's obvious that whatever comedy is involved is all pretty jaded and desperate.

Ultimately you have to congratulate the marketing folk behind this. 7.1 on IMDb and the title is well stocked in the supermarkets in the week of release. When only two titles at most get the luxury of supermarket distribution in a week where some pretty good bona-fide films have been released, they've done incredibly well at grabbing an available slot. The asking price of £9.99 for the Blu-ray (including embossed slipcover) when most titles debut at £13 without a slipcover and £15 with a slipcover hints at the compromises that had to be made to persuade Sainsbury's et al to run with it.

But it's a depressing state of affairs when energy is being wasted on third-rate rubbish like this to the detriment of far better movies with far better talent involved (if you like East Enders you'll like this as the cast is mainly out-of-work former East Enders actors, all of whom presumably voted on here to get that 7.1 rating that the title had the day before it was released).
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