Review of Kick

Kick (2014)
1/10
Kick The Film Out Of Existence. ♦ 0%
25 July 2014
I have not watched the Telugu version.

But if you were to ask me what is the most annoying thing about its remake, then I would say this peculiar background jingle "Kickya Kickaaaa..." that plays every time the lead character tries to be over- smart or punches a dialog on to our face.

Salman Khan supposedly plays a superhero with a Godly name Devi because even after sitting through the 140-minute torture, I couldn't fathom his actual role. Narrowing it down, he is the good Devi Singh for the world and his girlfriend (Fernandez), but is also the evil Devil for his enemies. But at the end, everything mixes up and you wonder if it was the most outrageous Samaritanship you have seen on-screen. He can teleport, fly, dance, break-dance, smirk, jump from bridges/skyscrapers, ride a weird vehicle, save women from being molested, pay up hapless children's hospital fees, et cetera..

The film is basically about how Devi Singh takes on the original evil guys (Siddiqui, Sharma) with a mask that looks like Krrish has put on weight. This you will see if you are brave enough to control your patience after 30 minutes into the film. Khan uses slapstick and situational comedy to bring out screw-ball, but fails disastrously. His expressions, stances, dialogs all blew. Not to mention many sequences were taken from his previous potboilers. He acts childishly throughout and instantly turns into a hard-faced dandy when confronted. I can even say that this is Khan's worst performance for me.

Hooda can be seen in one of the wasted roles of his career and for the first time I am disappointed with Siddiqui as well. He only cackles through the film and that is the second most irritating thing. There is no vindictiveness nor there is any substance about his villainy. Fernandez is hot, agreed. She slightly resembles Zeenat Aman, agreed. But can she act? If your definition of acting is wearing a body-sticking top and a very short pant, trying to be more voluptuous than Baywatch star Pamela Anderson, then YES.

Coming to the screenplay. Chetan Bhagat has maybe charmed me once or twice with his writing but this is pure buffoonery. Screenplay can be divided into 3 parts: first - the 40 minute stupidity, then some melodrama and cheap twisty plot points stitched together, third - predictable climax with a hackneyed flashback. Writing is preposterous and all this substandard parameters just downs the whole parade.

It mixes action and humor, and while few Hollywood films get away with it, this was bad. Terribly bad. The stunts are poorly choreographed, showing us not the actual fights but the aftermaths where Devi Singh comes out victorious. Every time. It has 4-5 songs for its supposedly cheesy audience with Narghis Fakhri coming to quench your lusty desire (hope is audacious?!).

It references Dhoom 2 & Jai Ho. If you were to mix up those films and create an output, you would get an unedited version of Kick. Hrithik Roshan skated in Dhoom 2, here Khan cycles. Roshan had a revolutionary mask in Krrish, here Khan has a toy mask with red outline. While I did appreciate where the second half was going and suddenly my hopes went up, it was soon diverted into the usual climactic pitch, leaving me tired, stabbed and dead.

BOTTOM LINE: Kick may look like it is for Khan's fans, but trust me it is worse than Jai Ho, Bodyguard, Ek Tha Tiger, etc.. Although there is this one animated sequence that I loved, depicting Devi Singh's childhood, it cannot really be termed as a salvaging factor. The animation is top-class. If I could advice, I would say just erase the thought of going for this. It sucks.

Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES
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