The Red House (II) (2014)
1/10
Pile of junk!
4 August 2014
This is SyFy channel quality. It's true that SyFy has made worse but still this is something SyFy would air on their channel.

This movie has a plot any horror fan has seen plenty of times before: a person gets an old house. Said person invites decides to spend a weekend there with a group of her clueless friends. People start disappearing one by one. And yes, this particular movie features deranged rednecks. Can someone PM an answer to this question: do horror filmmakers get fined if they make a horror movie set in a rural area that doesn't feature deranged rednecks? It seems like the vast majority of rural horror features deranged rednecks. Sometimes they're deformed. Sometimes not. Sometimes they're Christian. Sometimes not. But they are always weirdos who seem to have little respect for human life.

Another problem: the movie features 4 hot chicks and one dude as the protagonist. Why isn't there any real nudity? We see a brief glimpse of boobs (less than 10 seconds) and a real good shot of the one dude's butt. But the other chicks don't get naked. What's the point of having 4 hot chicks in your movie (with plenty of chances to show them naked) but there's no worthwhile nudity to speak of? Stupid.

Plus, the dialogue left a lot to be desired. Even worse is the acting, which is everything between crap to mediocre.

Another thing, the movie has many clichés: victim will knock the killer out but not make sure he's dead; character disappears and another character will wonder where she went to then another character will say, "She's probably off shopping or something. You know how she is"; victim will be running from her attackers only to find the body of one of her dead friends; characters wanting to split up saying, "I think we should take our chances and try to make a run for it" while the other character says, "No, I think we should stay here and wait for help"; no working cell phones; newspaper clippings to tell the back story; etc.

Moving on: the suspense is lacking. The stuff leading up to the kills didn't feature truly suspenseful music; a tense atmosphere; a sense of danger; engaging camera work; scenes dripping with suspense; or anything that would set a really dramatic mood. The lack of suspense is worsened by the lame kills. Most of the kills take place off screen where fake blood splashes on walls and drips down from the victims' bodies onto the floor. I don't need graphic violence in my horror. But a movie like this that lacks suspense at least needs to show some good kills.

All in all, this is SyFy channel quality. Granted, it's not ridiculously dumb like their other movies (I'm looking at you, Swamp Sharks). But it's still a dumb horror movie rehashing tired clichés. Take away the brief shot of the woman's boobs and the shot of the dude's butt and this movie is all set for an Saturday or Sunday afternoon slot of SyFy.
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