Mardaani (2014)
2/10
Confused.
23 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
OK. So here's the thing. I went with hopes of watching a gritty police procedural film, something like Sarfarosh, Ardh Satya, or Droh Kaal. But what we get is a confused and incompetently directed film that can't decide whether it will lean towards clichéd melodrama or realism. The film has a good premise and a base for delivering an impactful social message. But it falls face flat like Talaash. In the film, a street urchin is apparently mother-henned by Rani Mukherjee's cop character - Shivani Shivaji Roy. But the urchin, an adolescent girl, apparently gets by through selling flowers at intersections and gets kidnapped promptly. If this girl was so special to Rani, then why the F would she be selling flowers at roads to eke out a living? Next, Rani doesn't fit the role of a Mumbai Crime Branch cop because she doesn't think like one. There are hundreds of examples, but here are some of the glaring errors. First, as a cop, would you like to have locks of hair hanging across your face? Isn't there a reason why cops have a cropped cut or have their hair clipped tightly? The reason is, because in a fight, it can be a serious detriment. Second, when you are out to bust someone or hellbent on vengeance, would you remember to apply eyeliners and lipstick or would you be more focused on getting your target? Third, somewhere in the middle of the film, the villain sends a package to the cop's house in a pink ribboned Archies-style box. The cop, in her infinite wisdom, picks up the effing box and shakes it vigorously. Wow, now only if there was a sweet mercury primer in the box with a lump of C4 or a few sticks of dynamite. Apparently, this character hadn't heard of letter bombs. Anyway, the movie gods watch over drunkards and fool cops and it turns out to be a little finger. (Pardon, Lord Baelish). But I am digressing. Fourth, in the final climactic moment, the cop has a gun to the villain's head. BUT, and its a BIG but, she does not have her finger on the trigger! She literally does not have her index finger on the trigger of a gun that she has on the villain's head. Really? Why in F's name would a veteran cop hold a glock to someone's head in a totally lame@$$ way? But this is not the icing on the cake. That comes right at the end. In her method to prove her "macho" mardaani, she, in a loser homage to all the silly 80's action flicks, chucks her gun away and starts pelting fists and kicks in a most silly fashion to beat the stuffing out of the villain. Is this common sense? There are more, and I could go on forever. Its sad, because some clever editing and some well placed shots would have improved the quality. Sorry Rani, I love you as an actress and maybe the concept has its heart in the right place, but as a film it is bogus.
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