Review of Left Behind

Left Behind (I) (2014)
1/10
Theists and Atheists Can Agree: This Movie Sucks
13 December 2014
I truly believe there tends to be some anti-Christian prejudice in Hollywood. Having said that, I can assure you this movie does not have a 2% on Rotten Tomatoes because of the Christian themes. Even the film's target Christian audience despise this movie from what I've read. The sad thing is it's not even fun bad and it should be with Academy Award winner Nicolas Cage in the starring role. The film could use some bees.

Cage stars as pilot and family man Rayford Steele, which is the greatest name I've ever seen in a movie since Dirk Diggler in "Boogie Nights". In the beginning he plans on having an affair with a sexy blonde stewardess due to the strife between him and his Born Again wife (Lea Thompson, remember her from "Back to the Future"?), whom we never see together in the movie. Before he boards the plane, he is confronted by his non-believing daughter, who later has a Meet Cute with International Correspondent Buck Williams (Chad Michael Murray). The first half of the movie is supposed to be "character development" though not much character is actually developed. We just find out who's a Christian and who's not.

When the rapture does happen, chaos ensues both on the plane and on Earth or as much chaos as the budget would allow. With the film's $16 million budget it is pretty clear that most of that went to Cage's salary. The movie is supposed to take place in New York and it looks like it was filmed anywhere but New York (it was filmed in Louisiana). The rapture is a fascinating event that should result in a Roland Emmerich-like spectacle of frenzy. We get scenes like a car crashing into a mall and a small plane falling and crashing into a car. However, for the most part it's just a bunch of extras running around who were probably told "Please scream and run around in circles!"

As for chaos on the plane, do they give out Razzies for CGI? The interior of the plane does not look like it would fit the exterior. The sets are so unconvincing I half expected some guy to pop in the cockpit and say "I just want to tell you both 'Good Luck', we're all counting on you". The movie essentially takes what could have been an interesting premise for an action and turns it into a cheap airplane flick like the ones "Airplane" spoofed.

We get a handful of clichés like Cage looking at a photo of his family (even that looks horribly photo-shopped). We also get terrible comic relief like random confrontations between a Muslim man and a dwarf. There's also a climax that I choose not to reveal but it is absurd and ridiculous. Although apparently the daughter can ride a motorcycle without a helmet and operate complex machinery without any difficulty.

The real problem with this film is that it's not even enjoyably bad. It's just boring. Nicolas Cage is so restrained here, he's not even having fun. Much of the movie's plot is just the characters trying to figure out what happened, which isn't fun because we the audience already knows what happened. The movie isn't even subtle about it, we see the clothes and possession of those who were called up, one having a planner with "BIBLE STUDY" written on it.

This is director Vic Armstrong's second film, and the first in over two decades. Despite this he has one of the more impressive resumes in Hollywood. As a famous stunt man he did many of the stunts in the Indiana Jones movies along with others like "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" in the classic skiing scene. However a competent director he is not.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against wide-released movies aimed at a Christian audience. However I believe Christians deserve much better than this.
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