This is a strangely compelling movie to me. Thor, the title character, is supposedly "descended from the God of Thunder," but he has many, MANY setbacks along his path to fatherhood and...well, something.
First off, Thor's wig is complete garbage. I mean, seriously. Give us all a break. Why not do a weave or something? Just embarrassing. Regardless, this visual problem has nothing to do with the script. The script has its moments. ***SPOILERS*** Thor starts off as the beneficiary of his slain father's adviser, the bird-mage Etna (which means "screech owl" and explains his aviary obsession) who schools him in the wicked ways of the world. Along the road to manhood, Etna plays "Greek Chorus" to the movie and interacts with the viewer beyond the "Fourth Wall." Not that it does much good. Etna is also played by the actor Luigi Mezznotte who looks amazingly like Heavy Metal god Ronnie James Dio (and like Thom Christopher)!!!!
Along the way, Thor runs into a group of female virgin warriors who he rapidly kills and then rapes the last survivor (Ina, played by the gorgeous Maria Romano). This may be why some people do not like this movie. Nonetheless, the rape survivor is impregnated and Thor states that she will "give birth to the harvest that is children." Or something.
Anyway, Ina forgives Thor his transgression and serves as a deft partner to the murderer/rapist, even training the lame-o villagers who hail Thor as messianic figure only to turn their back on him in his ("His"?) hour of need. Thor's birdman buddy (again, Spoilers!) calls the Deity to help him out and Thor is back in action on his newly created animal (later to be known as a horse, in a segment that blew the minds of previous reviewers) with his old man's sword and gets two things: 1.) REVENGE! and 2.) a son by Ina, his raped/menaced/micro-agressioned/trigger-worded female consort.
Everybody is smiling and Thor planted some magic grain and it is the end.
Listen, you could do a heck of a lot worse than this movie. I consider it a relatively realistic slice of "Sword and Sandal" life. As ABBA once sang, "The Winner Takes It All" and while Thor the character loses more than he wins in this movie, in the end he takes the prize, and that -to these film-makers and to this reviewer-- is all that matters. Grandine Thor!!!!!! Bellissimo!
First off, Thor's wig is complete garbage. I mean, seriously. Give us all a break. Why not do a weave or something? Just embarrassing. Regardless, this visual problem has nothing to do with the script. The script has its moments. ***SPOILERS*** Thor starts off as the beneficiary of his slain father's adviser, the bird-mage Etna (which means "screech owl" and explains his aviary obsession) who schools him in the wicked ways of the world. Along the road to manhood, Etna plays "Greek Chorus" to the movie and interacts with the viewer beyond the "Fourth Wall." Not that it does much good. Etna is also played by the actor Luigi Mezznotte who looks amazingly like Heavy Metal god Ronnie James Dio (and like Thom Christopher)!!!!
Along the way, Thor runs into a group of female virgin warriors who he rapidly kills and then rapes the last survivor (Ina, played by the gorgeous Maria Romano). This may be why some people do not like this movie. Nonetheless, the rape survivor is impregnated and Thor states that she will "give birth to the harvest that is children." Or something.
Anyway, Ina forgives Thor his transgression and serves as a deft partner to the murderer/rapist, even training the lame-o villagers who hail Thor as messianic figure only to turn their back on him in his ("His"?) hour of need. Thor's birdman buddy (again, Spoilers!) calls the Deity to help him out and Thor is back in action on his newly created animal (later to be known as a horse, in a segment that blew the minds of previous reviewers) with his old man's sword and gets two things: 1.) REVENGE! and 2.) a son by Ina, his raped/menaced/micro-agressioned/trigger-worded female consort.
Everybody is smiling and Thor planted some magic grain and it is the end.
Listen, you could do a heck of a lot worse than this movie. I consider it a relatively realistic slice of "Sword and Sandal" life. As ABBA once sang, "The Winner Takes It All" and while Thor the character loses more than he wins in this movie, in the end he takes the prize, and that -to these film-makers and to this reviewer-- is all that matters. Grandine Thor!!!!!! Bellissimo!