Review of Starve

Starve (2014)
2/10
Interesting Plot... but that's about it.
27 July 2015
Warning: Spoilers
*May contain spoilers* This movie wasn't as great as I'd hoped it would be. While the plot is pretty interesting, the movie actually sucked. And the reason behind the villain's purpose of subjecting victims to fight to the death for food is totally idiotic, and then he tells the 2 main characters about it as if it's some kind of bedtime story. Weak.

It takes place in an abandoned high school that the "mayor" has turned into an arena for his own pleasure.

The makeup effects are limited to that of a high school drama club.

The writing is terrible. It's almost as if the screenwriter found this old school house and thought "Hmmm, I wonder if I can write a movie we can make there". I'm pretty convinced this was made from the first draft of a very thin script to begin with.

Plus, there are several characters who are also caged victims that come along that really have no point nor drive the story along. Such as the black girl who is free from her cage and seems to use the lockers as a way to move undetected throughout the building. At one point, she even approaches one of the lead characters at her cage and says her dad is close to escaping and he'll get help, or something. But then she gets captured and has to fight some nutty cannibal. We never know anything about her dad from then on. Who the hell was he? And if she could escape so easily from her cage, why the hell did she never try to escape the building?

Another character that comes along for no reason is this dumb woman who comes around after the 2 leads have been missing for a month and asks if anyone has seen them. She mentions possibly getting the police involved, blah blah blah if she doesn't get any cooperation. So, the "mayor" takes her to the school where he captures her and forces her to fight some dude to the death so HE can finally eat. And he kills her in the most retarded way ever... by shoving a curling iron down her throat! ACTUALLY, ABOUT 2 INCHES INTO HER MOUTH! And it wasn't even plugged in. My fiancé cracked up at this scene and said "Wow, death by lack of gag reflex". It turns out that this dumb woman was actually a cop, because when she's captured the "mayor" finds a revolver in her ankle holster and later he runs down one of the characters with her unmarked police car with the lights flashing. So, why didn't this police woman calling her location or call for backup when the "mayor" took her to the school? How could she be bested so easily by this guy who was obviously starved and should have been too weak to overpower such a healthy person? And didn't she learn any self defense in police school? Stupid writing.

It also took the filmmakers long enough to tell us how long the lead characters had been missing. Just when I thought it was only a couple of days (since the lead guy's facial hair never grew any longer and his girlfriend looked fairly fresh) we learn from the useless, dumb cop lady that they've been gone for over a month. Where the hell have these people been shitting is what I want to know? There are no piles of poop anywhere.

Then, the lead character who gets run down by the "mayor' in the police car, actually is able to get up and walk around as if nothing happened? WTF!!!??? It was a brutal hit, too. She should have at least come away with a broken leg or something.

Several times, we get the idea that there are multiple people caged up in this school - because we can see them all around - but in the end, when the lead characters have killed the bad guy and escape, they leave everyone behind. ASSHOLES!

And then, in the end, the two lead characters drive away into the sunset with big smiles while police and emergency vehicles rush to the school. WHAT!?? You are both in very obvious need of medical attention and you just drive away?

Oh, and there's some kind of pointless tag midway through the end credits that, I guess, is supposed to allude to a sequel. Whatever. I accidentally stumbled upon it because I got up to use the bathroom after the movie and left it playing. I came back just in time to catch this wannabe Marvel-movie setup.

Who writes this sh*t?!

And what f*cking investors in their right minds finance it? I'd seriously like to know because I'm a filmmaker and I'd like to dig into your pockets to make a couple of movies that actually have some very good scripts with Hollywood notable actors attached... nothing like this garbage.

I gave this a 2 for the comedic value
17 out of 21 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed