8/10
Yeehaw! Monster VS Psychotic Hillbilles!
22 August 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Without streaming, I never would have known this bizarre movie existed. It was a real pleasure to stumble over this, given the number of accessible movies these days. An obvious homage to old- school monster movies from back in the day before technology made almost every movie look exactly alike. The "no CGI" touted by the makers of this frantic goofy movie is exactly what you get: some really great miniatures and a guy in what must have been a really uncomfortable monster suit. While ridiculous, this popcorn flick bounces along merrily, mixing a whole truckload of references to other beloved horror flicks while stubbornly refusing to submit to the dreaded computer effects. Not everything works, but damn it, the guys who made this were having a great time, and it shows.

Seems that a legendary "millennium bug" is about to hatch out in the piney woods after a thousand year gestation period. Combine this with the faux-terror from 15 years ago about the "millennium bug" that was going to infest all technology and send us back to the Stone Age. Mix in the closest incestuous relatives of the Texas Chainsaw gang, the obsessed scientist who is about to find out he should have stayed home, a family that has the worst New Year's Eve imaginable, and a monster that's more Godzilla-esque than insectile. Lots of hysterics, axes-to-the-face, a nasty wooden dildo wielded by "Uncle Hibby", and a courageous father who's named after the real guy that directed "War of the Worlds" back in 1953, Byron Haskin. Fun for the whole family!

The Bug itself is more kaiju than anything remotely resembling an insect. Undoubtedly the production costs prohibited the necessary six legs, but who's counting legs when this bad boy bug smashes everything in sight, and eats everyone. A loving homage to "Aliens" makes for an incredibly gooey birth scene...and that's the second ugly birth we're treated to. The human version occurs early in the picture, giving up the immortal line "You're drippin on my beans".

Anyway, you could do worse than spend a few mindless minutes on this labor of love. No vampires, zombies, "found footage", paranormal activity in an abandoned hospital/asylum/prison/factory/Wal-Mart. Just a throwback to the 80s, when invention trumped technology. Give it a chance, and don't drip on the beans.
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