6/10
Too Brown to feel Down
23 September 2015
Reb (short for Rebort due to an admin error on his birth certificate) Brown is back! With a moustache to show he's more mature now or something! I was all fired up for this one, itching to see Reb doing his trademark screaming/machine gun firing he did so well in Strike Commando and Robowar. I was not disappointed. Because I never have any expectations when watching a Reb Brown film.

The film opens with Reb piloting a helicopter while blowing the crap out of a bunch of revolutionaries led by none other than Mike Monty, who appears in every Fillipino production ever made. While Reb's making things explode and bodies fly through the air, the local militia are going toe to toe with the rebels. Monty gets captured and Reb saunters off to his hotel in order to use his moustache to lure Shannon Tweed to his room, which almost works until some guy shows up and gives him grief for killing Monty, which makes Reb look like a bad guy in Shannon's eyes. For a few seconds.

But who are the good guys and who are the bad guys? Reb's just as confused as us when he discovers that he got played by the local militia and some other American guy. Mike Monty got captured and killed in captivity (off screen as I guess they could only afford Monty for one day). Reb understandably goes nuts which is fine by me because up to this point all he'd done was mooch about looking subdued and trying to hit on Shannon Tweed.

Reb breaks one guy's neck and the next thing the bad guys have him tied up and are giving electric shocks directly into his moobs! This gives Reb the opportunity to do some screaming and pass out in a cross eyed manner that had me chuckling. Don't worry though, Reb does escape, picks up Shannon on the way, and heads off to join the rebels.

Seems the rebels aren't too bothered that Reb was the guy who decimated their numbers at the start of the film. Reb doesn't seem too bothered who ends up looking down the barrel of his gun so easy come easy go. As long as he can shoot at things and scream, the job is done. There was this one guy who kept staring at Reb all the time (especially in the back of that truck…God knows what expression Reb thought he was pulling in that scene). I think that's called interpersonal drama.

This really badly made film has dodgy editing, sound problems (sometimes you can't hear what the actors are saying due to background noise, sometimes the background noise doesn't quite match up with the edits – look out for the crickets who disappear from shot to shot), bad acting from Reb and Shannon including Reb pretending to 'choke' on smoke and Shannon pretending to feel guilty about stabbing a guy in the back. It all kind of comes together around Reb blowing up everything he sees and screaming in his rock star voice. Shannon also gives Reb a chewie during the obligatory love scene.

Did you know that the Phillipines use to be linked to the Asian main land? It's now an island due to all those Italian and Fillipino action movies blowing the land to hell.

And…big grin…and…freeze frame! THE END.
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