So. "Cooties" are simply slang for lice. Head lice in particular, once passed around regularly in elementary school. The term "cooties" is actually from World War One, as soldiers in the trenches passed the parasite around. Schoolchildren in the 40s (and to this very day) pass the term around to isolate others they wish to bully and denigrate. History lesson over, so let's get to this dismal movie.
It might have been better to actually try and incorporate the source of the title instead of making another revisionist zombie movie. Wow, zombie kids! Perhaps an invasion of interdimensional lice that used children as their hosts, being passed along from kid to kid. Nope, nothing that interesting here, just another grade-D zombie flick with terrible performances that border on burlesque. Infected chicken nuggets turn a grade school into a killing ground and give adults permission to actually do to the little monsters what they've been dreaming about. As in, kill them. Since the children are presented as boorish, foulmouthed, stupid, and generally obnoxious from the beginning of this flick it's difficult to muster any sympathy for the afflicted. Add to this playground of terror a bunch of equally stupid adults: a failed writer, a flaming queen, a clueless teacher, and a redneck gym instructor who drives a monster truck. Tack on a ridiculous ending that sets up a maybe sequel nobody wants or needs.
Killer children have been lurking around in movies for decades. Not one of the kids in this movie can touch Rhoda "The Bad Seed" Penmark for being evil. This lousy unfunny horror-comedy only dares to attempt "edgy" by killing the zombie kids. American movies hold children as sancrosact, so you never show them being done away with. It doesn't work here, since you hated the brats from the first 15 minutes in. If you want to see really bad children doing terrible things, rent "Devil Times Five" (1974). Either that or "Village of the Damned" (1960).
Isn't it time we just let the zombies die once and for all? Stick a fork in "Cooties", it's done.
It might have been better to actually try and incorporate the source of the title instead of making another revisionist zombie movie. Wow, zombie kids! Perhaps an invasion of interdimensional lice that used children as their hosts, being passed along from kid to kid. Nope, nothing that interesting here, just another grade-D zombie flick with terrible performances that border on burlesque. Infected chicken nuggets turn a grade school into a killing ground and give adults permission to actually do to the little monsters what they've been dreaming about. As in, kill them. Since the children are presented as boorish, foulmouthed, stupid, and generally obnoxious from the beginning of this flick it's difficult to muster any sympathy for the afflicted. Add to this playground of terror a bunch of equally stupid adults: a failed writer, a flaming queen, a clueless teacher, and a redneck gym instructor who drives a monster truck. Tack on a ridiculous ending that sets up a maybe sequel nobody wants or needs.
Killer children have been lurking around in movies for decades. Not one of the kids in this movie can touch Rhoda "The Bad Seed" Penmark for being evil. This lousy unfunny horror-comedy only dares to attempt "edgy" by killing the zombie kids. American movies hold children as sancrosact, so you never show them being done away with. It doesn't work here, since you hated the brats from the first 15 minutes in. If you want to see really bad children doing terrible things, rent "Devil Times Five" (1974). Either that or "Village of the Damned" (1960).
Isn't it time we just let the zombies die once and for all? Stick a fork in "Cooties", it's done.