6/10
Thirty years on, and I finally get it. It's a parody!
6 December 2015
Based on H. Rider Haggard's novel, King Solomon's stars Richard Chamberlain as adventurer Allan Quatermain, who is enlisted by blonde babe Jesse Huston (Sharon Stone) to help find her father, who has gone missing while searching for the fables mines of King Solomon. Herbert Lom plays Nazi Colonel Bockner, who, with the help of wicked Turk Dogati (John Rhys Davis, sending up his own role in Raiders of the Lost Ark), also hopes to locate the legendary treasure.

When I first saw this film (back in the '80s at my local Cannon flea-pit), I thought it was abominable, a shoddy Indiana Jones clone thrown together in a hurry to make a quick buck. I now realise my mistake: instead of being a cheap rip-off, it is in fact a sly send-up that mercilessly mocks the conventions of the genre, which explains the ridiculously hokey script, the incredibly far-fetched action scenes, the cruddy effects, and the camp performances from a cast who are obviously in on the joke. When viewed as such, one's enjoyment of the film is greatly enhanced.

Director J.Lee Thompson certainly keeps the bonkers action moving along at a decent lick, with a silly sequence aboard a speeding (NOT!) train, a ridiculous scene that has hero Quatermain hanging onto the wing of a biplane piloted by a petrified Jesse, a tribe that lives upside-down in the jungle, a hilarious moment involving a cannibal tribe's massive cooking pot, and a really unconvincing giant spider attack. The film also boasts a surprisingly decent score from Jerry Goldsmith, who effectively mimics John Williams' famous Raiders theme, and benefits throughout from the appealing sight of the pre-fame Stone in tight shorts (that get shorter and shorter as the movie progresses).
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