Review of Hot Moves

Hot Moves (1984)
5/10
Tedious and trite sex comedy
6 February 2016
Hot Moves features four teenage boys - only two of whom have anything like an established personality by the time the movie ends - looking for sex on the beach during summer holidays. The movie's only real source of life are the street performers the movie spends such a long time showing us: break dancers, tap dancers, body builders and a crappy mime.

Indeed it cuts to these so frequently you almost forget the so-called main characters and their boring shenanigans. When the movie remembers it's supposed to show us their trying to get laid we get dull and episodic encounters like one of the boys being preyed on by a woman who turns out to be a man (a fact that will be immediately obvious to the viewer), and another unlikely scene in which Michael Zorek, the fat kid from Private School, accidentally knocks over a candle in a waitress's house. Luckily the fat kid's friends are on hand, having been watching through the window, and put the blaze out with a garden hose. Uh huh.

To up the movie's nudity content, there is a scene where the boys spy on a nudist beach, and see a bunch of naked women who look suspiciously like nude models in between classier jobs running in unison. If so many beautiful women are available, naked, running around at this beach, why don't the boys try their luck there instead of with the predictably prudish lot they find on their home turf? Could it be that the producers didn't have the money to pay these naked women to be naked for more than a minute or so of screen time?

Overall, Hot Moves is pretty forgettable.
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