The Night Before (II) (2015)
1/10
Panders to the lowest common denominator
6 March 2016
Warning: Spoilers
The only reason I got to the end of this stinker of a movie is that I paid money for it.

I thought the premise for it was alright - 3 longtime friends go out on the town for their last Christmas together. As it turns out, each of them is dealing with a personal issue. One is going to be a father and is afraid he's not prepared. One is a professional athlete who is using steroids to stay in the game. The third is making excuses for why his life is going nowhere.

Then, it gets really, really stupid. Isaac's wife gives him a box of street drugs for Christmas and he takes all of them. Instead of dying of an overdose, he throws up, bleeds into a woman's drink, and generally goes around being gross. This is, believe it or not, one of the main punch lines of the movie.

Drugs are so prevalent in this movie, they are practically a character of their own. There is a superficial attempt to draw on Dickens' "Christmas Carol" by calling their dope dealer the Spirit of Christmas Present, and drug-taking in general is made out to be synonymous with partying and friendship. Even the fabulous party they finally get to after years of trying literally has a bowl of drugs on the table. And yet, for some reason, their athlete buddy is called out and shamed for taking steroids. I don't get that steroid use is so horrible when everyone else is taking cocaine, dope, mushrooms, and every other drug they can find.

I also disliked the fact that nobody in this movie could actually explain anything or say anything adult. Isaac's wife says to him that she is a "f*cking piece of sh*t". As it turns out, she means that she fears she might not be a good mother. What happened to "I'm worried" or "I feel unprepared"? Why can't anyone actually articulate anything beyond the most basic grunting sounds? These are meant to be educated people (Isaac is a lawyer) and yet they all speak like 14-year-olds who think it's cool to swear when their parents aren't around.

At the end of this movie, I just felt depressed. I feel sorry for anyone whose life is anything like these pointless characters, and anyone who thinks that the "partying" portrayed in this movie is even remotely fun.

There was no real plot to this movie. The characters are flat and uninteresting, and don't actually learn anything or develop, despite the premise of the movie. The humour is beyond juvenile. Conclusion: a complete waste of time.
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