1/10
The Movie I never knew I Didn't Want
7 March 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I looked at the reviews for this movie when I picked it up at Hastings, the outside cover was alluring, the name Manananaan really got my attention and it sounded like a fun 90 minute B movie to enjoy with my mom for a girl's night. Boy, was I in for a surprise.

That being said I genuinely like indie movies that offer offbeat characters, or the true "visualization of poetry", or you know at least the ability to show me that the post crew was capable and can edit. As a film student who has seen a large variety of experimental film and the growth of my classmates and other large directors and writers I feel I am qualified to say they probably kicked their butts to make this movie.

Cheesy B movies are amazing. But this was something else.

I can appreciate the hard work that is put into any sort of film production, however there are literally parts of this movie that are unwatchable.

If I never have to hear that the kidnapped twins' scream as she wakes up from her coffin again it'll be too soon. The second or third time this happened my mom told me to have fun and finish the movie by myself. I did. I managed to finish it. I wish I hadn't.

Were there parts of this movie I enjoyed? Yes (there wasn't nearly enough screen time for the vampires honestly), but those parts don't negate the fact that the "dream sequence" is a bunch of colored circles dancing on the screen between cuts of badly lit forest shenanigans. It goes on for what 3, 4?, minutes of this. No dialogue, the same looping sound again and again. Then the screaming scene again and again, it wasn't even her being filmed from different angles or even edited differently, it was the same 1:30 seconds of her being horrified over and over to the point where I just wanted it all to end right there.

I don't understand why the editing was so disjointed and genuinely hard to watch, it wasn't for an artistic flair it was just...bad. Oh and the wig...that wig was an interesting choice. I think money could have been saved on the wigs and put towards some better pre and post production planning or a better editing program.

If you do decide to watch this movie, I'm so sorry about the 90 minutes of your life you're about to lose. But rejoice, the few good parts you'll see are both genuinely funny and interesting but will be smothered in the hodge podge of bad editing, bad editing choices, bad lighting, and all around jilted feeling you get when you realize that this isn't even The Room levels bad, this is a whole new level of Art house Indie b.s bad that you were never prepared for.

Please note I an feeling both bitter and jilted as this was neither the bad funny horror b movie it appears to have the potential of being nor the high fantasy adventure b movie it made itself out to be in both reviews and cover materials/description.

I just wish the reviews were viewer oriented because this was legitimately an awful experience.
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