September 2, 2011
"Shark Night 3D" is the worst shark picture to come out since "Jaws: The Revenge" sunk audiences back in 1987 and scared them away from going to the theatre to see a shark movie. "Deep Blue Sea" reminded us to stay away and"Piranha 3D" was considerably bad but this picture shows that the shark movies are long outdated and dead in the water. I knew this going to be bad but I didn't think it would be as terrible as it is. This film is just awful in every aspect.
It's about a group of university graduates, Sara (Sara Paxton) and who the hell cares, who drive to Sara's family vacation home on a private lake. When one the kids goes wake-boarding, he is attacked by a shark and loses his arm. Realising the lake is infested with sharks, they attempt to get to the mainland before they become lunch.
That was an easy plot to get through mainly because I don't care about anyone of anything in this picture. Thanks to a faulty PG-13 rating, the gore is reduced and the nudity is cut out. I walk into every film expecting something out of it but I got nothing from this but a headache. I had a hard time trying to figure out what the title of the film means? What the hell is a Shark Night? The 3D aspect is to rip audiences off, even more, most of them paying 12 dollars to see this and we are left with one of the worst films in the last 30 years. I think this might be more stupid than "Jaws: The Revenge." I use it because its fabled for being a terrible film that Universal Pictures road off. It's so easy to compare the films but I think this trash might be more stupid in terms of intelligence.
Do You remember in "Friday the 13th Part III" when the van died and the woman becomes trapped and must fight Jason in the barn? Now in the digital age, cell phones lose service and the characters must find a way out of the situation. In this case, it's driving a boat on the water and hoping they don't become lunch. It's very hard to confuse me with a movie but I had to ask myself the question "how does one get the idea to feed college kids to sharks simply by watching the discovery channel?" While, they try to make sense of that by using the digital age as a backdrop. The moron villains of the film have dumped the sharks into the lake with cameras attached to the bellies in an attempt to show snuff films on the internet. I don't feel bad that I ruined that and I might reveal the end of the picture because this is as close as I hope you get to seeing this film.
None of the characters prevail in any form and are simply shark bait. The screenwriter of the film couldn't have worked very hard to write something decent and his decision to write a screenplay where the film is taken seriously as a slasher film is laughable. I can't begin to believe a major motion picture like this could be greenlit or maybe I can. With the rise of recent 3D movies, it's no surprise that this was conjured up as a means the suck the dollar out of the average moviegoers. Why not, 3D failed to save the "Jaws" series back in 1983 and since 3D is too expensive, post-production 3D is cheaper, hence ripping off audiences more who will pay to see this. Even the 3D to the film is bad. There are two aspects: 3D above the water and 3D under the water. The depth of field under the water is so sharp, it will give you a serious headache.
Sara Paxton is wasted in the film as the one who is supposed to have brains, none of them do, but it's the stupidity of the characters that really took me by surprise. Why would you swim out into shark infested water to retrieve your friends arm after he was just attacked? Furthermore, why would anyone arm themselves with a harpoon and venture into the water to attack the shark that ate your girlfriend? you might get eaten you know. The sharks look worse than anything in this picture. They look absurd and one of them leaps out of the water and attacks someone on a jet-ski. It's worse than it sounds, trust me. By the second act, you know the moron villain, Dennis (Chris Carmack) and Sara have a history together and it will serve as the climax of the film.
If you haven't figured out the ending yet, don't worry because It doesn't matter. I have decided not to ruin the ending, although it's very tempting but with a film as stupid as this, you can figure it out for yourself. When we learn the revelation, it's enough to make you want to get up and leave because we have had a horrible time. As pitiful as this film is, it speaks volumes about Hollywood as well. If they are willing to greenlight a cash grab film such as this, it shows the they are willing to easily rip off the unsuspecting moviegoers and that's about as despicable as this trash film is. Save you hard earned money, you will be thankful.
0/10
"Shark Night 3D" is the worst shark picture to come out since "Jaws: The Revenge" sunk audiences back in 1987 and scared them away from going to the theatre to see a shark movie. "Deep Blue Sea" reminded us to stay away and"Piranha 3D" was considerably bad but this picture shows that the shark movies are long outdated and dead in the water. I knew this going to be bad but I didn't think it would be as terrible as it is. This film is just awful in every aspect.
It's about a group of university graduates, Sara (Sara Paxton) and who the hell cares, who drive to Sara's family vacation home on a private lake. When one the kids goes wake-boarding, he is attacked by a shark and loses his arm. Realising the lake is infested with sharks, they attempt to get to the mainland before they become lunch.
That was an easy plot to get through mainly because I don't care about anyone of anything in this picture. Thanks to a faulty PG-13 rating, the gore is reduced and the nudity is cut out. I walk into every film expecting something out of it but I got nothing from this but a headache. I had a hard time trying to figure out what the title of the film means? What the hell is a Shark Night? The 3D aspect is to rip audiences off, even more, most of them paying 12 dollars to see this and we are left with one of the worst films in the last 30 years. I think this might be more stupid than "Jaws: The Revenge." I use it because its fabled for being a terrible film that Universal Pictures road off. It's so easy to compare the films but I think this trash might be more stupid in terms of intelligence.
Do You remember in "Friday the 13th Part III" when the van died and the woman becomes trapped and must fight Jason in the barn? Now in the digital age, cell phones lose service and the characters must find a way out of the situation. In this case, it's driving a boat on the water and hoping they don't become lunch. It's very hard to confuse me with a movie but I had to ask myself the question "how does one get the idea to feed college kids to sharks simply by watching the discovery channel?" While, they try to make sense of that by using the digital age as a backdrop. The moron villains of the film have dumped the sharks into the lake with cameras attached to the bellies in an attempt to show snuff films on the internet. I don't feel bad that I ruined that and I might reveal the end of the picture because this is as close as I hope you get to seeing this film.
None of the characters prevail in any form and are simply shark bait. The screenwriter of the film couldn't have worked very hard to write something decent and his decision to write a screenplay where the film is taken seriously as a slasher film is laughable. I can't begin to believe a major motion picture like this could be greenlit or maybe I can. With the rise of recent 3D movies, it's no surprise that this was conjured up as a means the suck the dollar out of the average moviegoers. Why not, 3D failed to save the "Jaws" series back in 1983 and since 3D is too expensive, post-production 3D is cheaper, hence ripping off audiences more who will pay to see this. Even the 3D to the film is bad. There are two aspects: 3D above the water and 3D under the water. The depth of field under the water is so sharp, it will give you a serious headache.
Sara Paxton is wasted in the film as the one who is supposed to have brains, none of them do, but it's the stupidity of the characters that really took me by surprise. Why would you swim out into shark infested water to retrieve your friends arm after he was just attacked? Furthermore, why would anyone arm themselves with a harpoon and venture into the water to attack the shark that ate your girlfriend? you might get eaten you know. The sharks look worse than anything in this picture. They look absurd and one of them leaps out of the water and attacks someone on a jet-ski. It's worse than it sounds, trust me. By the second act, you know the moron villain, Dennis (Chris Carmack) and Sara have a history together and it will serve as the climax of the film.
If you haven't figured out the ending yet, don't worry because It doesn't matter. I have decided not to ruin the ending, although it's very tempting but with a film as stupid as this, you can figure it out for yourself. When we learn the revelation, it's enough to make you want to get up and leave because we have had a horrible time. As pitiful as this film is, it speaks volumes about Hollywood as well. If they are willing to greenlight a cash grab film such as this, it shows the they are willing to easily rip off the unsuspecting moviegoers and that's about as despicable as this trash film is. Save you hard earned money, you will be thankful.
0/10