If an alien race ever was unfortunate to visit Earth they would have my sympathy and full understanding if they got back in their craft travelled back into space and blew us to oblivion as a precaution against ever meeting such a sanctimonious bunch of self important so called experts again.
Starting with the idea that an extra-terrestrial craft has landed somewhere we find that our governments would not want us to know about it as we would of course all panic and start stealing stuff and killing each other.
They of course would address this calmly and considerately and assemble an elite team led by David Attenborough as his face is so instantly recognisable. Unless of course you are an alien who has travelled billions of miles and did not have Dave or Discovery channel. Imagine the conversation as the team arrive. Alien. 'who's that?' other Alien 'That's David Attenborough they brought him as his face is so well known.' First Alien 'Oh yeah I loved him in Fools & Horses'.
David's team would approach the craft which would by now be surrounded by tanks and missiles and rather scared soldiers who remember how this turned out in Independence Day. Jeff Goldblum may have been drafted as he did well in ID1 and also knows some good stuff about dinosaurs and Math. Bruce Willis and Arnold would be on stand by just in case this goes t#ts up. Also Rodney Trotter for some strange reason may have been alerted.
After being allowed an audience our elite team will assault the visitors with a whole range of patronising questions and try to assure the aliens that we came in peace. Which having the History channel would have assured them that this was a lie. We never go anywhere in peace.
Do they come in peace? And if so how can we kill them and steal their stuff. Just like we did with the Dodo and the American Indians.
The team would have to be careful as words matter. They may ask 'how do you think?' The aliens would reply suspiciously.... 'what do you mean?'. The team would respond 'we want to know how your brains work?'. By this time the aliens would be in full panic..... 'They want our brains....flee'
By this time the secret will be out and we will be running around like panicked hens after a well endowed rooster had arrived in the pen.
I think it would be wonderful if an alien race came here. Perhaps one day we will see that but if our reaction is along the lines of this nonsense then I would foresee ID2.
There would be 3 reasons why they came. 1 to scout our planet. 2 to land and learn about our civilisation or 3 to fix a breakdown. Obviously they did not want to mention 4 to conquer us and use us for food.
Whatever happens 4 will always be our default setting and the scientists will not get a look in after the military have surrounded the craft and targeted it with anything that makes an explosion.
We even shot Klaatu and he only wanted to give the US President some kind of weird anal probe.
Throughout our short History we have never done well with alien visitors. According to many they are already here slipping implants into our necks and probing us anally.
So the only sensible action would be for us all to head for the hills. As no matter whether they come in peace or war 5 minutes listening to our elite team would cause them to say (in their alien language that the elite team do not know) Klaatu Barada Nickto which as we all know means 'break out the destructor rays these people are idiots'.
Starting with the idea that an extra-terrestrial craft has landed somewhere we find that our governments would not want us to know about it as we would of course all panic and start stealing stuff and killing each other.
They of course would address this calmly and considerately and assemble an elite team led by David Attenborough as his face is so instantly recognisable. Unless of course you are an alien who has travelled billions of miles and did not have Dave or Discovery channel. Imagine the conversation as the team arrive. Alien. 'who's that?' other Alien 'That's David Attenborough they brought him as his face is so well known.' First Alien 'Oh yeah I loved him in Fools & Horses'.
David's team would approach the craft which would by now be surrounded by tanks and missiles and rather scared soldiers who remember how this turned out in Independence Day. Jeff Goldblum may have been drafted as he did well in ID1 and also knows some good stuff about dinosaurs and Math. Bruce Willis and Arnold would be on stand by just in case this goes t#ts up. Also Rodney Trotter for some strange reason may have been alerted.
After being allowed an audience our elite team will assault the visitors with a whole range of patronising questions and try to assure the aliens that we came in peace. Which having the History channel would have assured them that this was a lie. We never go anywhere in peace.
Do they come in peace? And if so how can we kill them and steal their stuff. Just like we did with the Dodo and the American Indians.
The team would have to be careful as words matter. They may ask 'how do you think?' The aliens would reply suspiciously.... 'what do you mean?'. The team would respond 'we want to know how your brains work?'. By this time the aliens would be in full panic..... 'They want our brains....flee'
By this time the secret will be out and we will be running around like panicked hens after a well endowed rooster had arrived in the pen.
I think it would be wonderful if an alien race came here. Perhaps one day we will see that but if our reaction is along the lines of this nonsense then I would foresee ID2.
There would be 3 reasons why they came. 1 to scout our planet. 2 to land and learn about our civilisation or 3 to fix a breakdown. Obviously they did not want to mention 4 to conquer us and use us for food.
Whatever happens 4 will always be our default setting and the scientists will not get a look in after the military have surrounded the craft and targeted it with anything that makes an explosion.
We even shot Klaatu and he only wanted to give the US President some kind of weird anal probe.
Throughout our short History we have never done well with alien visitors. According to many they are already here slipping implants into our necks and probing us anally.
So the only sensible action would be for us all to head for the hills. As no matter whether they come in peace or war 5 minutes listening to our elite team would cause them to say (in their alien language that the elite team do not know) Klaatu Barada Nickto which as we all know means 'break out the destructor rays these people are idiots'.