Robot Jox (1989)
4/10
Campy low rent sci-fi with some great stop motion effects
3 November 2016
Warning: Spoilers
A movie released during the imminent downfall of Charles Band's Empire Pictures, which of course would become Full Moon Pictures instead. Fans of films from these studios will no doubt pleasantly enjoy this silly little science fiction flick with an interesting premise, although those who are fans of less obscure fare will find their patience tested by the poor acting and low budget, two factors which combine to make this a less than satisfying experience.

Personally, I enjoyed it, in a kind of lame-brained way. I've always been a fan of post-apocalyptic movies and this one starts off well, with a roving view of a barren wasteland. Sadly, this film quickly degenerates into lots of scenes of people shouting at each other and far too much talk, when reliance on the action instead would have made it a much easier experience. The action is this film's highlight, and wonderful it is. Imagine the television series TRANSFORMERS. Imagine those robots increasing in size a thousand times and fighting each other. The image you have in your mind is ROBOT JOX in a nutshell. Forget human gladiators, the fighters of the future are gigantic robots who shoot lasers at each other and smash bits from their enemies.

The robots themselves are a mixture of convincing models and some truly excellent stop-motion animation, which reaffirms my opinion that stop-motion is the greatest special effect ever invented. It even made a totally bad film like THE STRANGENESS watchable. Watching these two robots striding around is truly a cool sight, and it's just a shame that these moments occupy so little of the film (it runs at 80 minutes as it is, and an hour of that time is made up of chit-chat). If this film had been made today with CGI effects replacing the robots, it just wouldn't have been the same.

For the rest of the film, we have some boring plot about honour, justice, and sabotage. To be honest I couldn't care less. A group of actors and actresses you've never seen before emote a lot to little effect. The appearance of Jeffrey Combs ignited a spark of hope in my mind, but sadly he's in it for seconds only, his face obscured by a hood as it is. Gary Graham is the gurning, idiotic hero who looks like a teenager. Anne-Marie Johnson is the irritating female lead. Everyone else in the cast is merely continuing their career in low-budget, straight-to-video trash. I noticed one old woman cast member popping up from a comic kid's TV series broadcast ten years ago in the UK.

So, basically, what I'm saying is that aside from the few robot fights, this is pretty worthless stuff. There are a few okayish fist fights, a fun training scene where the participants have to climb up a giant, shaking metal frame, but not much else in the way of excitement. Unless bad acting does something for you that is. The violence is kept to a minimum although nudity does pop up here and there (the film still managed to scrape in with a PG rating in America; on our shores, the censors saw fit to rate it 15). ROBOT JOX is a wasted opportunity with a fun idea behind it, only worthwhile for viewers with very high tolerance levels.
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