Review of Boys

Boys (2014 TV Movie)
5/10
Gay Exercise Video
9 November 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Our protagonist Sieg, is a very handsome closeted gay teenage Dutch athlete who has no interests in life other than exercising.

I was myself once a closeted teenage gay person. The movie got several things right: the furtive glances, the "inadvertent" touches, the awkward silences. It shows the awkwardness of peers pushing you toward girls.

But other things made no sense. In real life, once you realise your partner is equally interested, there is an overwhelming rush of sexual energy. Sieg felt satisfied with a quick peck on the neck and lying next to his beloved without a hint of sexual energy. This was a Bowdlerised gay movie.

In the climax of the movie, a cyclist, Sieg's boyfriend, deliberately blocks the road to a car. This is quite a confrontation, but I could not for the life of me see what motivated the cyclist.

The bulk of the movie is spent watching young athletes exercise. I found this boring.

Sieg is laconic and mostly silent. He is obviously suffering, but he never lets on what he is thinking. You would think there would be at least one scene where he opened up, but there is not.

I hate races in movies. They are necessarily rigged to the last detail to create a false sense of impending loss following by triumph, all in slow mo, with Chariots of Fire-type music. Then the overacted elation. This movie ends so predictably with a fake race.
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