This may end up being a long read, but please bear with me. I of course watched this film based on a trailer of it that I saw on YT. I should've known this film was going to be atrocious but I have a habit of giving certain things the benefit of the doubt. I definitely need to kick this habit.
'Pitchfork' was so lame 'Plan 9 from outer space' is a masterpiece compared to it. From beginning to end Pitchfork was agony to watch. Incredibly bad, extremely bad writing, the camera shots were all over the place. Put it like this...think of everything bad that you hate about horror films and I'm willing to bet this film had it. I saw one review on here that stated "Great story-line"....what story-line, there was none?!
I know most of you who read this saw scenes in films that had lighting that comes through the trees for effects sake, well this film had lights coming through the trees, and the thing was...the lights were friggin ultra bright, as if they used a couple of Hollywood premier spotlights?! It made no sense.
And I can't count how many time the 'killer' kept popping up from behind things...no literally rising up, from an obvious kneeling position into camera view. And the kills themselves...lame lame lame. Some kills were off camera or implied via sound effects. Oooooh I almost forgot to mention one of the first kills. Which involves a young girl who I think was at the very least 11-12yrs old, who asked her father to check her closet for father who check her closet for monsters...this after she had sneaked back into her bedroom (via window) from coming from the big barn shindig. So the father goes to check the closet....no monster. He goes to leave and she saids "You didn't check under the bed". So Dad kneels down and looks under the bed...cue sound effects of a wet vicious stabbing. "Dad...dad...dad" as the girl saids this...a pitchfork comes bursting up through the bed...cut scene. Later in the 3rd act we find out he didn't kill the 12yr old, instead he keeps her alive in a section of his shed, secured or should I say caged behind a spring metal bed frame. This was weird because he killed all but 2 of the main 8 college kids, not including the 12yr old's mom and dad, two cops and his own mom. I sat there watching him play with a few of the dead bodies he had propped up against his shed, so what the hell did he keep the 12yr old for?! Here's another dumb thing...he kills one of the girls in a cornfield and walks away...through the cornfield, in the next shot we see arriving back at his shed...CARRYING this same girl?1
4 of the 8 main college kids were somewhat hot girls, not bad looking at all...and you guessed it...not one nude scene. Oh there was a couple of sex scenes...with one that had the girl riding a guy with her SHORTS ON, and a bra. The other sex scene was implied via a rocking Amish covered wagon. Maybe if they didn't spend the majority of the budget on the lighting they could've afford a tit or two...just saying.
The thing that really got me was 'Pitchfork' had the look of a modestly budgeted film, the color schemes were nice, but again the film budget was wasted on all the film stock and probably the lighting (you'll see what I mean).
Pitchfork won like 10 film award which included jury prizes, I wonder who were some of the people on those juries...I'm guessing Cory Feldman, Dave Thomas's daughter Wendy and my neighbor Tim who works at the tomato factory, to name a few.
Trust me you're gonna hate yourself for watching this film. IMDb should change the rating system, because I would give this film a negative '0' to 5th power!
'Pitchfork' was so lame 'Plan 9 from outer space' is a masterpiece compared to it. From beginning to end Pitchfork was agony to watch. Incredibly bad, extremely bad writing, the camera shots were all over the place. Put it like this...think of everything bad that you hate about horror films and I'm willing to bet this film had it. I saw one review on here that stated "Great story-line"....what story-line, there was none?!
I know most of you who read this saw scenes in films that had lighting that comes through the trees for effects sake, well this film had lights coming through the trees, and the thing was...the lights were friggin ultra bright, as if they used a couple of Hollywood premier spotlights?! It made no sense.
And I can't count how many time the 'killer' kept popping up from behind things...no literally rising up, from an obvious kneeling position into camera view. And the kills themselves...lame lame lame. Some kills were off camera or implied via sound effects. Oooooh I almost forgot to mention one of the first kills. Which involves a young girl who I think was at the very least 11-12yrs old, who asked her father to check her closet for father who check her closet for monsters...this after she had sneaked back into her bedroom (via window) from coming from the big barn shindig. So the father goes to check the closet....no monster. He goes to leave and she saids "You didn't check under the bed". So Dad kneels down and looks under the bed...cue sound effects of a wet vicious stabbing. "Dad...dad...dad" as the girl saids this...a pitchfork comes bursting up through the bed...cut scene. Later in the 3rd act we find out he didn't kill the 12yr old, instead he keeps her alive in a section of his shed, secured or should I say caged behind a spring metal bed frame. This was weird because he killed all but 2 of the main 8 college kids, not including the 12yr old's mom and dad, two cops and his own mom. I sat there watching him play with a few of the dead bodies he had propped up against his shed, so what the hell did he keep the 12yr old for?! Here's another dumb thing...he kills one of the girls in a cornfield and walks away...through the cornfield, in the next shot we see arriving back at his shed...CARRYING this same girl?1
4 of the 8 main college kids were somewhat hot girls, not bad looking at all...and you guessed it...not one nude scene. Oh there was a couple of sex scenes...with one that had the girl riding a guy with her SHORTS ON, and a bra. The other sex scene was implied via a rocking Amish covered wagon. Maybe if they didn't spend the majority of the budget on the lighting they could've afford a tit or two...just saying.
The thing that really got me was 'Pitchfork' had the look of a modestly budgeted film, the color schemes were nice, but again the film budget was wasted on all the film stock and probably the lighting (you'll see what I mean).
Pitchfork won like 10 film award which included jury prizes, I wonder who were some of the people on those juries...I'm guessing Cory Feldman, Dave Thomas's daughter Wendy and my neighbor Tim who works at the tomato factory, to name a few.
Trust me you're gonna hate yourself for watching this film. IMDb should change the rating system, because I would give this film a negative '0' to 5th power!