The Remains (I) (2016)
1/10
Just die already
6 February 2017
If you like terrible acting, one dimensional characters, cliché camera angles, and an entire plot that relies on half-a-dozen jump-scares, then this steaming heap of manure is for you. This film is 70% domestic chores and %20 talking about domestic chores. Far, far, too many scenes of people just walking about carrying things, plates, boxes, food, more boxes. If I was a ghost I'd get sick of them too.

A family (of awful ham actors) move into a hunted house, and experience a few cliché jump-scares. The plot starts on a low, continues on a low, and ends on a low. Much like the teenage girl, who spends the entire movie seeking climax, this movie lacks any kind of climax. Any attempts at twists leave the audience rolling their eyes at how banal it all is.

Nothing is explained, the characters seem to have no fixed personality traits or motivations. There are hints that side characters may have interesting depths, but we never get to find out. It has the feel of a badly written short story, but without a satisfying twist or clever ending.
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