5/10
The Plot .. Is Not
9 February 2017
In the 2006 film CLICK (a throwback to a strange era when Adam Sandler was considered one of the most bankable stars in Hollywood) a very hammy Chris Walken, playing the Devil, takes a moment to tell Sandler (playing the husband) of Beckinsale, in all seriousness, and with a straight face, "Your wife is smoking hot." Which in a nutshell explains the staying power of Underworld I, a film I have seen perhaps 8 times so far. It combined a kickass script with great action sequences and featured Kate as perhaps the sexiest vampire in film history.

Flash forward through several sequels (too many) and we still have Kate ... but little else. One of the worse scripts in recent memory, so bad it verily fails the late Roger Ebert's "20 minute test" (if a film fails to hook up in the first 20 minutes, leave the theatre).

Horrible story, horrible characters, and overall a pretty rotten movie.

Advice -- go see the first one all over again. You'll thank me in the morning,
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