Passengers (I) (2016)
3/10
Stolkholm Syndrome the Movie
17 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
If you were a lady who woke-up out of cryo-sleep early on a big starship, and found the only other person around was a creepy white dude who has read all about you. What would be your natural reaction? Well the mostly male writers at Hollywood, having clearly never met a human female in real life, seem to think a woman in this situation would immediately assume the guy has nothing to hide and start screwing him.

She doesn't investigate, she doesn't try to wake-up anyone else. She doesn't try to find out why the pods malfunctioned. She doesn't check the other pods systematically to see if this guy is a serial killer who is waking-up and killing off female passengers. (which would actually be a more interesting plot.) Nope, she just hooks up with him like there is nothing weird or creepy at all about his situation.

And then when a robot tells her that the guy woke her up intentionally, what does she do? Keep it to herself, form a plan. Nope. Hollywood thinks that all women do is throw tantrums. Because apparently in this world women are not afraid at all of being stranded alone in space with a mentally unstable impulsive man. She isn't afraid at all that if he knows, she knows, he might do something even more insane.

So of course while these dip-sticks have been prancing about playing with toys, instead of using their brains to investigate their problems, the ship starts to loose power. At this point, conveniently a commander who actually has some intelligence is brought out of cryo-sleep. (something the creepy-guy could have done at the start of the film if he had had even a tiny amount of perseverance to get the doors of the command deck open.) The commander is like, "why have you guys been messing about for two years while the ship is falling apart?". Then dies form cryo poisoning or some bull-dust.

At this point the creep and the dumb-blonde put their differences aside to mend the ship and save their asses. Which they somehow manage to do despite, zero technical training. I mean I'm assuming starships are a little more complex than just, switching it off and back on again right? Not in Hollywood they ain't.

Due to some minor tension when the guy has to open a vent, Blondie forgives him entirely for ruining her life and bounces back into his arms. They discover that a medical pod can put one of them back into cryo-sleep for the rest of the journey, thus saving them from a life of loneliness. At this point we are expected to believe that the crazy creepy guy, who just risked everything to save his own skin,(he wasn't doing it for the 5000 passengers that's for sure) gives up the pod to Blondie.

Now this is the only part of the film that is plausible. Blondie refuses to go into cryo-sleep, which is 100% in-line with her character of a person who makes really poor decisions based entirely on emotion. (Any other person would have vented the creep out of an airlock, and enjoyed a nice fat book deal at the end of their cryo-sleep.)
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