American Horror Story: Afterbirth (2011)
Season 1, Episode 12
1/10
Worst Episode of Any Show I've Ever Seen, And I've Been Watching TV My Whole Life
25 March 2017
There are movies and TV shows that are dissatisfying, not exciting / scary / happy / whatever enough, or poorly acted / directed /shot / whatever, as I said. Sometimes there are plot points that make no sense; sometimes there are characters who behave in unrealistic or unbelievable ways. I have never EVER seen an episode of a professionally produced television show however, that I felt didn't seem to understand how to TELL A STORY at all until this "Afterbirth" episode of American Horror story. I'm absolutely dumbfounded.

Those who have been watching "American Horror Story" Season 1 know the basic setup, and it gets reviewed at the beginning of this episode if you don't: Philandering therapist Ben Harmon (Dylan McDermott) moves into an old mansion with his wife (Connie Britton) and daughter (Taissa Farmiga) in an attempt to repair his marriage after his wife Vivien (Britton) finds out about his infidelity. Unfortunately for all of them, the house is haunted, and over the course of this season, the ghosts have tortured and toyed with all of them, in ways that I won't spoil for the uninitiated, but have now left us with Dr. Harmon in great danger and a new baby, with his wife and daughter trying to help him. Will he escape? In any other normal series, that would be the whole premise of this episode. Here however? HO-Boy...! Again, without spoiling it as best I can, suffice it to say that what WOULD be the major conflict of the story gets wrapped up in the first act, in a way that I think anyone with a literary or television or BASIC STORYTELLING background would agree makes the whole first season seem pointless. From there it becomes a gimmicky scare-fest that felt to me like an attempt to turn it back into a horror story, and not just ghost science fiction (complete with an explanation of the rules of how the world works, in the aforementioned first act, preventing the audience from figuring it out on its own and taking satisfaction from that). To me it just meanders aimlessly from the second act onward, ending in what struck me as a too-little, too-late attempt to be creepy that couldn't possibly work on me because I'd already stopped caring. I love the cast, including perennial favorite Charles S. Dutton in a minor role, but they're given a story that really feels to me like something a sixth grader might have come up with. I've never seen anything like this in my life, and cannot understand why this show is so well-regarded today. I can only assume that it gets better in subsequent seasons but frankly, I loathed this season finale so much that I'm never watching this ever again. UNBELIEVABLY bad, in my opinion. Stay away from this first season at all costs!
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