Review of Cave

Cave (2016)
2/10
Don't waste your time
19 June 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I like movies about caves. I like horror or suspense movies, which this one teased in the Netflix summary that the three cavers 'discover terror beyond all expectations' - what?? Seriously? This review is full of spoilers because I don't like getting jerked around by false expectations, plot holes and inexplicable scenes. Oh yeah, it's dubbed by what appears to be people who learned to dub English from bad Japanese monster movies. And the lack of chemistry between the leads was noticeable, although maybe that's a Norwegian thing.

I know how Norwegians like herring but they overdid the red variety in this movie. It started out well - nice cinematography, beautiful setting, 3 young people planning a cave trip. And shortly after arriving at a cabin, one of them spots someone walking in the distance with a flashlight - who? We don't know. We then learn that one of the men is an ex-lover (Viktor) of the woman (Charlie) and the other is the current lover or husband (Adrian) and they're trying to have a baby.

Then we see them floating down the river in a canoe and Adrian starts whistling the tune from 'Deliverance' as a joke when Charlie sees someone along the shore in the woods. They even make a joke about Ned Beatty getting molested. 2 appearances so far by unknown persons not even 15 minutes in - who are they? They eventually arrive at the cave entrance which has had the chain link seal ripped off - naturally they ignore the 'Stop' sign and go in.

I'll try not to bore you, but Charlie spots a footprint in the cave dust and it isn't one of theirs, and then they discover a tent with belongings and blood all over some fabric, but decide to go ahead - this after Adrian's rope mysteriously slips and he gets a minor injury. Eventually they go up a narrow tunnel, stocky Viktor gets trapped and when Aidan digs him out the tunnel collapses behind them. No one seems worried that that avenue of escape if they were to need it is now gone! So what was the purpose of the scene?? I have no complaints with the music, cinematography and what appears to be slowly building suspense that something is really wrong in the cave - maybe something evil lives there. But I do have complaints that it's BS. Turns out that Viktor really wants Charlie for his own so he ends up killing Adrian near the end of the movie, and Charlie ends up killing Viktor with a rock, but not before Viktor is heard apparently talking to his father on a cellphone and telling him that things have gone wrong and to pick him up from the river. Charlie dives into a pool and comes up outside of the cave in the river and swims to shore, all the while being watched by a stranger up above. As she's walking down the road, a 4WD pulls up, an older man gets out and offers her a ride and blankets, and when he opens the trunk you can see a shotgun on top of a dead body. And as he drives off, he starts whistling the 'Deliverance' theme, even though in the movie it was Adrian and not Viktor who started whistling it - so what's the connection? And that is the absolute end of the movie - I am not kidding you.

Who were the unknown people spotted earlier? What was the significance of the footprint in the cave? What happened in the bloody tent and to whom? Who was the body in the trunk? Why did the father start whistling 'Dueling Banjos'? Is the father going to kill Charlie? It's one of those movies that could have been so much better if the people involved had actually decided to write a good, taut plot that made sense and pays off the viewer with a good ending. I swear that I can write a far better plot that these idiots did. I gave it 2 stars simply because it had potential but it never delivered.
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