Review of Boxing Gloves

. . . but if THAT was out of your price range, you could always see a deplorable import about Canadiyapper Juvenile Delinquents for a nickel. Speaking of wood, BOXING GLOVES features precocious tyke "Jean" railing against her pair of geriatric suitors, twice complaining "How do you expect me to drink this with the cap on?" (An equally explicit scene occurs a few minutes later, when a mustached "Mary" poses the question of whether she's Transvestite, Transgender, or merely a "Q.") But the real meat of BOXING GLOVES concerns Jean's would-be beaus--"Joe" and "Chubby"--each suffering at least two concussions in the span of about five minutes. This turn of events cleverly illustrates why Canadia has never produced an Einstein (or even a Trump). From Infancy, Canadiayapper kids are taught to beat each other's brains out, whether via ice hockey, Canadiayapper Football (in which the first team to 21 concussions wins), bare-knuckle MMA, kick-boxing with ice skates, facial biting bouts, tackle skiing, curling, an so forth. After witnessing BOXING GLOVES, you'll better understand how Canadia produced the lamest "Super Hero" ever (THE GREEN LANTERN).