Review of As If I Am Not There

This film was extremely difficult to watch, but to be any less than horrific would be an injustice to the victims and survivors of concentration camps during the Bosnian War. As If I Am Not There succeeds in depicting a representative camp experience for a young woman during the time of the war. The film explores the intricate complexities of relationships between abusers and victims, as well as between internees themselves. Samira, the main character, after being repeatedly raped by soldiers, is forced into a subordinate relationship with the captain of the camp in order to reap certain benefits to stay alive. Although Samira's choices are morally questionable, the film does well to address the fact that victims were willing to do nearly anything in order to survive. The film depicts the captain as a "non-monster," but his seemingly gentle nature is abusive nonetheless and he is no less of a rapist than the soldiers that brutally gang raped Samira throughout her time in the camp. For a brief moment towards the end of the film, the audience feels triumphant as the women escape the camp and appear atop a mountain. Although a fleeting moment before the audience is brought back to reality, it is extremely important in the depiction of female survivors of the war. After having spoken with survivors, they all emphasized a desire to be depicted as strong female survivors. Then, the audience is taken back to the reality that victims faced after their internment. The war did not end in 1995 for any survivors, but actually follows them everyday of their lives. In the film, the ongoing traumas of war are represented physically by Samira's baby, the product of rape, that will be a lifelong reminder of the torture she suffered. The audience is brought into Samira's mindset as she contemplates killing, leaving, or keeping the baby. The last scene shows Samira making the decision to keep the child as she breastfeeds it, and finally allows herself to cry and feel the emotions that she was forced to suppress during her time in the camp. The scene is made so powerful by Samira's lack of emotion throughout the rest of the film. She is continually dehumanized by her rapists, literally feeling as if she's nothing in the scene where she is looking on her own experience of rape and abuse from above. The poignant absence of dialogue throughout the film, except for a few conversations, strips Samira of her individuality and ability to be herself. She partially reclaims this through her relationship with the captain, but once again, this is a forced and false sense of self. Samira is truly able to be her own person at the end of the film, but she is forever changed by her experiences as a survivor of the camp.